“Then it’s lucky he’s not actually a pig,” I said, depositing said creature at Aidan’s feet. Oscar rolled onto his back, waved his little hooves in the air, and snickered.
Aidan stared at Oscar. “Is something wrong with him?”
“I was hoping you could tell me. He’s... I think he ate some of Renee’s cupcakes and now he’s acting like this. I think she might have poisoned him!” I couldn’t keep the desperation out of my voice.
“I’m not a vet, Lily,” Aidan said.
“Please? See if you can tell what’s wrong?”
With obvious reluctance, Aidan stood back and gestured with his hand to enter his office. He shut the door, and we were plunged into the soft lights and hushed atmosphere of his Victorian fantasy world.
Oscar transformed into his natural state, jumped onto a chair, and said:
“Hey! You know what I just found out?’Pumpernickel’ means ‘goblin fart’! Or maybe ‘fart goblin’... not sure.” He dissolved into peals of cackles. “Could I have that grilled cheese on pumpernickel, please?”
Aidan opened an elaborately carved box and brought out a clear pale green crystal.
“Be still,” he commanded, and to my surprise Oscar obeyed. Aidan placed the crystal on top of Oscar’s muzzle, laid his hands on either side of his face, and concentrated for a long moment.
He picked up the crystal, took it to his desk, and studied it with a magnifying glass.
“He wasn’t poisoned,” he declared after a long moment.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“What a relief,” I said, feeling the tension ease from my shoulders. “Then what’s wrong with him?”
“He’s high.”
“High? What do you mean?”
“Stoned. Baked. Wasted. Stewed. Tanked. Shall I go on?”
“Got it. But... is this something he does? Oscar getshigh?”
“You tell me. He’syourfamiliar, if I’m not mistaken.”
“He’s never done it before, at least not since he’s been with me. What is he highon?”
“Must have gotten into someone’s pot stash.”
“Pot?”
Aidan gave me a slow, thoughtful smile. “I know you’ve led an unconventional life, my dear Lily, and you’re remarkably innocent in some ways. But are you telling me you don’t know what pot is?”
“I know what it is,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I just haven’t ever tried it.”
“Never snuck off behind the gym in high school?”
“My abbreviated time in high school wasn’t like that, as you very well know. Besides, I wouldn’t have dared—my grandmother would have killed me.”
“She was strict?”
“In a manner of speaking. We had enough going on just trying to stay alive in Jarod. We didn’t need drugs complicating matters.”
Oscar let out a loud snort, jumped off the chair, and declared: “I have something very important to tell you!”
