Astrid didn’t reply. I tried to read any expression in her face and found none, but the muscles in her back, under my hand, momentarily tensed. What did that mean? Had she worried about me? My heart fluttered at the thought.
“I like your boots,” Astrid said, changing the subject.
“Thank you. I wasn’t certain they were entirely appropriate with the short mess dress jacket,” I said.
“They make you stand out. I’ll know what to look for, now that I know to look for you,” she said warmly.
She’ll be looking for me, I thought, giddy with the idea, but I tamped it down. A cordial friendship was the best I could hope for and still be beneficial to the Royal Commonwealth. Yet I could hardly help myself. I knew this was the Emperor, twelve years removed from my Astrid, but dancing with her felt so very comfortable.
“Your dress is absolutely stunning. I’d say I’ll know what to look for, but you were always easier to pick out of a crowd than I,” I said.
“A Commonwealth crowd, maybe, but were I not Emperor, I would struggle to be seen amongst the demon princes.”
“I’d see you first regardless.” Astrid smiled again. “You’re pretty hard to miss. You’ve clearly grown.”
“Since you last saw me, considerably. Does it change how you see me?” she asked.
I forgot I wasn’t talking to just my old girlfriend, pulled myself a little closer than was entirely proper, feeling the brush of her knee against my thigh, the press of her abdomen against my chest, and breathily replied, “Of course. I want you more since there’s more of you to want.”
It appeared she forgot herself as well because she gave me a sinful smile and said, “You forget yourself. We’re surrounded by my guests.” Her fingernail caps pricked delectably against my back through my mess dress jacket. The less thoughtful part of me wished to feel them rake against my bare skin as once they had.
I gave a slight shrug, dancing on my tiptoes to whisper in her ear. “So what? You’re the Emperor. Order everyone away, and we can catch up.”
Astrid’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, but she still looked pleased. “My guards would never leave me alone with an enemy officer.”
I shrugged again. “I guess they can watch, but you have to promise you’ll execute them when we’re done.”
“Why?” she whispered.
“We can’t have them spreading state secrets, can we?” I replied.
“That implies there would be secrets to spread,” she said, “but I don’t intend to make any today. Not before my jubilee day.”
“So there’s hope for the day after,” I instantly replied, and Astrid actually laughed. Not a massive laugh, but a small, musical glissando down an octave of joyful vocal notes, accentuated by the sudden lack of musical accompaniment from the orchestra. In the space between the song’s finale and the last note for the bow, more than the instruments had gone quiet. Not a single voice could be heard, not one murmur or subdued comment.
A wave of unease washed over me. I politely stepped back and, in time with the ultimate note, bowed at the waist. The Emperor, once more in her official character, barely inclined her head, then gestured slightly with her hand to indicate I was dismissed.
There were no words to say, so I said none, walking away from Astrid in a daze. I kept my eyes fixed firmly ahead, focused on nothing in particular, but I could tell every eye in the massive ballroom was upon me.
There was pressure in my ears, as though somebody was pumping helium into my skull. My heart hammered in my chest so hard I felt it would break a rib. My hands trembled, no matter how hard I tried to keep them at my sides, so I clasped them behind my back.
“All right, it’s all right. This way, Captain,” a kind voice said. I looked up to see Boleslaw’s concerned face as she gently took my arm and guided me to a knot of Commonwealth dignitaries, including the prince. She gestured, and a hordling scurried up, presenting a silver tray of water glasses. Boleslaw handed one to me. “Take a moment and catch your breath.”
“Thank you,” I gasped. I sipped the water, then took a proper drink, then gulped the glass down. “It’s not every day you dance with an Emperor.”
“Or your ex-girlfriend,” Boleslaw wryly added.
“Or both,” I finished.
Boleslaw clapped me on the shoulder. “You’re handling it better than I expected.”
I giggled, slightly hysterical. “How bad did you expect?”
Boleslaw shrugged. “I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d descended into gibbering madness.”
I held up my thumb and forefinger, barely apart. “This close. Stars, I need a drink.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Boleslaw said as she turned me towards the bar, but Prince Aureli stepped from the pack of Commonwealth dignitaries to intercept us. His face was placid, but his eyes were hard as steel.
