“This is bonkers,” Sadie muttered, rubbing her forehead.
Lorelei was talking to Grim in undertones. Artemis had gotten a strange look on her face and wandered the way Bach had gone, then stopped to look at a headstone. “Bach chose this spot, right?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Yeah. He got here first. Why?”
She motioned to the headstone. I went to stand beside her. Carved on its front wasMichelle Garrington.
“She was one of the teenagers who died in the Maple Hills cabin,” Artemis said. “The Firestarter Murders. Your mom had pictures of his car here. He’s been coming to see them all this time.”
She sounded so surprised. As if everyone who did bad things was a sociopath without thought for what they’d done and who they’d hurt. Classic Artemis. I knew guilt. I knew how it could hit you years later like a sucker punch. I knew how it could drive you to do things you normally wouldn’t, to try to make amends for your past. Or for your family.
I knew how to exploit it, and if I had to exploit Bach’s guilt to finish Mom’s work and get rid of him and Forester, I was damn well going to do it. It was the Novak way: by any means necessary. I was done flying my own guilt flag in the hopes Addamsville would take mercy on me.
I was taking mercy on myself.
29
Ihad two options for getting out of Hillcroft House that night.
One: I try to explain to Dad what was going on and why I need to leave, and hope he doesn’t do something reasonable like lock me in a room.
Two: I sneak out when it is time and hope I don’t get caught, because I’d never be allowed to leave the house ever again.
I didn’t want to have to lie to Dad again, but I didn’t know if right now was the best time to tell him the truth, either.
Around five Dad got back with everything he could salvage from the trailer. It had landed where the waves lapped the shore, so it was technically flooded, but not underwater. Hebrought clothes, phone chargers, hygiene supplies, and framed pictures from the trailer. None of Mom’s secret notes or pictures, but he wouldn’t have known to look for them. Sadie nearly burst into tears when she found out Dad had saved her old combat boots.
Grim had come back to the house with her, and Aunt Greta didn’t seem to mind him hanging around; when he offered to help her prepare dinner, she accepted with a genuine smile and let him taste test her potato salad. After nine thirty, when Sadie and Grim had to make up an excuse to leave the house so Sadie didn’t fall asleep, I said good night to Dad and followed Artemis up to her room, where we barricaded ourselves in.
A terrible feeling roiled in my stomach. From a distance, every light was a small fire, and sweat had already started beading on my forehead. I had gotten tired enough of my guilt to free myself of it, but freeing myself of fear wasn’t that simple. This fear wasn’t a rational fear. It was bone-deep; it had wormed its way so far into me that prying it out would cause even more damage. It had to be coaxed away. Soothed. And it would take a lot longer than we had now.
“You don’t have to do this,” I told Artemis. She was opening one of the many windows in her room and peering out onto the roof. She turned to me.
“What are you talking about?”
I stood in the middle of the room, fully dressed, with the Chevelle’s keys in my pocket and nothing else. “You don’t have to come,” I said. “He wants me, not you. You might get hurt. None of you guys have to come.”
She dropped her arms to her sides. “Please. Enough with the altruism.”
“Shut up, I’m being serious. I should call everyone right now and tell them to stay home—”
“I know you’re being serious. You heard everyone earlier. We’re doing this so you won’t be alone.”
“I won’t be alone. Bach will be there.”
She leveled a sharp look at me. “You might trust Bach, but that doesn’t mean I do. And I don’t care if I’m just a human, I’m going with you. You’d get yourself into too much trouble.”
“Artemis—this isn’t like playing pranks on a TV crew.” I pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead, where a headache had begun. “Do you know what being hurt feels like?Reallyhurt, amputated-fingers hurt? It isn’t fun. You don’t do it to prove a point, or—hey!”
She’d climbed out the window, onto the roof. I hurried out after her. The night chill bit my nose. I pulled the window shut behind me before I followed Artemis across the shingles.
“Hey, hey! Listen to me!” I hissed.
She crept across the roof to a flat area where we’d stored aladder earlier. Artemis carefully levered it over the side of the roof, struggling to keep it from scraping. I scrambled to help her.
“You’re being stupid!” I whispered.
“Shut up, Zora.” She grunted. The ladder slid into place. She rounded on me. Her eyes flashed. “I’m part of this. I’m your cousin, and I’m going with you. So be quiet, climb down that ladder, and get into my car before someone realizes what we’re doing. Go. Go!”
