This time she doesn’t stop me.
Sully and Church and Dad are already at the edge of the lake with the fishing supplies. It’s got to be too cold for fish. They’re fishing anyway. Mom goes to join them.
I sit on an outcropping of rock above the lake and try tobe angry, but I can’t hold the feeling. I need erupting volcanoes, hurricanes, massive earthquakes. Were I working onMonstrous Searight now, Orcus’s monsters would bleed from the page in the search for flesh. I need vindication. I do not need little birds twittering over a wide expanse of shimmering lake and a light wind ruffling my hair.
Nature defies my anger. Nature defies every emotion I have. I can’t complain to nature, or appeal to it, or rage at it.
Nature doesn’t care about me.
Monstrous Sea Private Message
6:43 p.m. 21 - Mar -17
MirkerLurker:Finally crawled my way out of hell.
rainmaker:Haha come on, camping’s not that bad. Dirt! Fresh air! CAMPFIRES!
MirkerLurker:I’m convinced there’s something wrong with you. No one should love campfires this much.
rainmaker:Campfires are crackly happiness. So how was it?
MirkerLurker:My parents found out I had my phone and took it away. Wouldn’t let me bring my sketchbook or anything. How big of an issue is it if I have a freaking sketchbook with me?
MirkerLurker:Sorry. I know I shouldn’t be complaining about this. It was only a few days. But they do this kind of stuff constantly, and I don’t understand why they can’t let up.
rainmaker:I think they want to spend time with you. You do have a tendency to zone out when you’re working.
MirkerLurker:So? So do you.
rainmaker:When I say “zone out” I mean I have to shove you out of your seat to get your attention. It’s not exactly normal. I get where they’re coming from—didn’t you say you almost missed Christmas because you were working on something?
MirkerLurker:Well, yeah, but I had to get stuff done. It was really important.
rainmaker:Maybe they have a point. It’s not good to get so intense about things so often. Maybe you should see someone about it.
MirkerLurker:That’s cute. You’re telling me I should see someone.
rainmaker:Real nice, Eliza. I’m trying to help.
MirkerLurker:I didn’t ask for help.
rainmaker:You didn’t have to.
6:55 p.m. 21 - Mar -15
rainmaker:Are you ignoring me now?
7:03 p.m. 21 - Mar - 15
rainmaker:Fine.
CHAPTER 30
On Monday, I stand at my locker and imagine the floor shaking as Wallace stalks down the hallway toward me, parting a sea of students who scramble to get out of his way. He doesn’t look angry. He never looks angry at school. He just looks impassive. Irish Spring wafts over me when he stops two feet away and thrusts a piece of paper under my nose. On it is a single line of his machine-print handwriting.
Are you done?
“Yes, I’m done,” I say.
