I stared at my aunt, steeped in muted emotions, silently waiting for more information.
“He needed money,” she went on. “Because he was fired.”
“What else is new?” I muttered.
“He started drinking on the job. He’s just been so broken up, I guess he couldn’t manage. Anyway, I won’t make excuses for that. He kept saying he felt like your mom was haunting him in the apartment. Not like a ghost,” she explained. “Like that she was everywhere, in the smell of the dish soap, or the way the spices were organized on the rack, thatsort of thing.” Lucy was rambling. Nervous. My stomach tried to tie itself in a knot, but I couldn’t feel the words the way I used to be able to. “So, he came to spend a few days with me. I gave him some money and told him that if he needed to move, he should wait until after you graduate. It’s only one more year, right? That’s what I said.”
Aunt Lucy hung her head and dabbed her nose with the tissue, letting the tears spill freely from her worn eyes. “We got in an argument. He was trying to get me to give him enough to put a down payment on a place in Brooklyn.”
“Brooklyn?” I repeated.
Aunt Lucy nodded. “I said no. I couldn’t agree to that. Anyway, he got angry and he left. I’m not sure where he went. I got the call hours later, around 5:00 a.m. Your father took something. I don’t know how he got it. But he was drunk and extremely high on some sort of hallucinogen. I believe the officer said it was a type of LSD.” She took a shaky breath. “Sweetheart, he got in the car and decided to go home. To Queens. Only he got on Route 3 and sped off down the highway.”
“So he got arrested for a DUI?”
Lucy covered her mouth with her hand and choked on a sob. She nodded her head, and her eyes rapidly filled with tears. “He got on the highway going the wrong way. Route 3. Top speed. He crashed into an oncoming car.”
“Oh, my God,” I said.
“Your father’s alive, by some miracle. And he’s okay.”
“What about the other car?” I asked.
Aunt Lucy hung her head, as if to assume my father's shame. “They died on impact. It was an older couple. They were heading to the airport for an early flight,” Lucy wept.
“He killed them,” I said, matter-of-factly.
Matt reached for my hand. I pulled away, retreating into myself, crossing my arms tightly over my chest.
Lucy didn’t disagree.
I waited while Lucy cried some more. “He’s in jail, honey,” she finally said.
I nodded. “When did this happen?”
Lucy sighed. “Four weeks ago.”
“Fourweeksago?” I echoed.
“A few days after you left for camp, he came to see me. He was only with me for a long weekend, and the accident happened on the way back. So maybe, like a week after you left.”
“How come nobody told her sooner?” Matt asked.
“He was arrested and released on bail. His license was revoked, and they had his arraignment not long after. Then, we went to trial. The trial only lasted two days. The jury found him guilty of vehicular manslaughter due to reckless driving. He was sentenced to prison.”
“You didn’t answer the question,” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Oh, honey. You’ve been through so much these past few months. I didn’t know how. Especially once I knew your dad was okay, I didn’t think—”
“Okay?What part of this story makes you think he was even okay in the slightest?” I rebutted.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. It was a lot to handle on my own. If I should have told you sooner, I’m sorry. I was just doing my best.”
Sometimes you tell lies to take care of the people you love,I remembered.Even lies of omission, I guess.“First he killed my mom, then he killed two innocent people, and now he’s in jail. And nobody even thought that maybe I should be made aware of this fact.” I recite thisas a statement, not as a question filled with the kind of bewilderment that rests on Matt’s face.
“Like I said, I didn’t want to lay all of this on you until I absolutely had to. But if that was wrong, I’m sorry. I was just trying to protect you.”
“So, what now?” I asked.
