“Why tonight?”
He gulped. “The kiss.”
I immediately tensed.He came all this way to humiliate me further?“I’m sorry, Matt. I know it was awful.”
“Taylor—”
“No,” I interrupted. “It’s just, I wasn’t expecting it. And, well, you know. I don’t have much experience with—”
“Taylor!”
“What? It was my first—”
“I know that! That’s why I came here.”
“Why, Matt? To embarrass me?” I folded my arms.
“No! I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry for kissing you.”
Great. It must have been the worst kiss in history.“It’s fine. Whatever.”
“Not like that. I mean,” he stumbled on the words, “I’m notsorryfor kissing you. I’m sorry for kissing you likethat. In front of everyone.”
“Oh.”
“What I’m trying to say is,” he began, then froze. We locked eyes. Then, he took a step closer to me. He raised his palm and placed it gently on the back of my neck. He leaned his face toward mine, slowly this time. Our lips met, and my eyes closed as I inhaled the sweet scent of the night air mixed with his shampoo. His other hand found my lower back, pulling me closer. I felt his tongue graze mine, and with my heart lodged in my throat, I returned the advance. I brought my hands up to the back of his head, running my fingers through his silky hair. I felt weightless, lightheaded, melting into his embrace. Our tonguesgently circled around each other as my chest constricted in a way I’d never experienced before. Time stopped. Finally, he pulled his face away from mine. Gradually. Carefully. Matt’s arms remained around my waist. I took another breath before opening my eyes.
“Thatwas how our first kiss wassupposedto be,” he whispered.
I remained silent, stunned.
“You okay?”
I nodded.
“You sure?”
I brought my face up to his ear. “Do it again.”
He pulled his face back, smiling. “Yeah?”
I smirked, staring into his gaze, my eyelids hooded with consent.
So, he did.
August 23, 2009
Dear Taylor,
I hated saying goodbye to you today at the bus! Just had to get that off my chest. I know we’re going to see each other next weekend, but after being with you every day at camp, a whole week apart seems like so long.
I think we have a good plan though. Nightly calls at 8:00 p.m. Every other weekend at my house. And maybe on the in-between weeks, my mom will let me go visit you. Did you talk to your mom about that? Let me know. I hope she says yes. I haven’t said anything to my parents yet. I know my mom won’t want me to take the train by myself. She’s scared of the city. Are there buses that go into Queens from Bethpage? If not, I was thinking, we could always meet at the mall and just hang out for the day. Walk around, get a soft pretzel or a milkshake or something. It’s just an idea, in case I’m not allowed to go all the way to your house.
Sorry this letter is short, but I wanted to put something in the mail to you right away. I’ll talk to you tonight at 8. Can’t wait!
Love,
Matt
