He wants me.
I think.
“There were sea turtles in the water around the island where I grew up,” Terlu said lightly, as if he were a bird she didn’t want to scare off. “I used to swim with them all the time. After I moved to Alyssium… there weren’t any sea turtles in the canals, and you didn’t want to swim anywhere near the capital island. The closest water wasn’t clean, with that many people living there. I think thissea turtle missed having someone swim with him.” She wasn’t sure why she was saying all of this. Maybe to avoid saying what she wanted to say, which was,Do you want me like I want you?
Yarrow couldn’t seem to stop staring at her. “Why didn’t you stay with my sister and enjoy the dream flowers? Why seek me out? You didn’t know I’d have a sea turtle to show you.”
She countered with her own question. “Why did you show me the turtle and the stars and even the garlic? Why not continue your gardening work?” He could have easily kept pruning and weeding instead of bringing her on this tour, and she would have understood. She hadn’t gone to him with any expectations.
“I thought you’d like the sea turtle. You said once that you like them.”
Terlu took a breath. “I likeyou.”
His eyes widened, and she thought he looked a little panicked. She hadn’t meant to frighten him. Quickly, she pulled her tunic back on and secured the buttons.
Trying to sound as if everything was perfectly platonically normal, Terlu said, “I think it would help if I could construct a timeline of when the different greenhouses were built. I can match that against when Laiken recorded spells in his notebooks and narrow in on which sections most likely include the spells that made this ocean room, which made the star flowers, and so forth. It would be terrible if the world lost all of this wonder.”
“I missed it, didn’t I.”
Fully dressed and mostly dry, she paused at the top of the ladder. “Missed what?”
“The moment when I should have kissed you.”
Terlu felt a smile blossom from deep within her. “It’s not possible to miss that.” She walked across the platform—it took only two strides to reach him—and she rose up onto her tiptoes to press her lips on his.
He kissed her back, softly and sweetly, while the sea turtle splashed in the water nearby.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The kiss ended, gently, and Terlu stared into his eyes, their lips still so close that she was breathing his breath, as sweet as honey. She felt as if she were floating.
“Why?” Yarrow asked.
She stared at his lips and thought the question made zero sense. Because a kiss couldn’t last forever, even if she wanted it to? Because you eventually had to take a full breath? She repeated the word, “Why?”
“I am not someone that anyone would choose,” Yarrow said, as if it were objective fact.
Oh, by the sea.Did he think she just kissed anyone who wandered by? Terlu rolled her eyes so hard that they nearly hurt. “Stop it. I like you. It’s not any more complicated than that.”
“I know I’m the one who woke you, and I know you feel sorry that I’ve been alone—”
“It’s not pity. Or gratitude.” Stepping back from him, she poked his shoulder, hard. “Is that what you think?” Yes, that was what he thought. She could see it in his face. He was perfectly willing to walk away from… whatever this was, if she said she didn’t want him. “Maybe just accept that I wanted to kiss you.”
He took a deep breath. “Everyone I have ever cared about left.”
“And I got turned into a statue,” Terlu replied. Ugh, this was absurd. She started to climb down the ladder. “We both have issues,” she shot up at him. “It doesn’t mean we’re doomed to be lonely and unhappy forever. Unless that’s what you want.”
“Obviously not,” Yarrow said, starting down after her.
There was nothing obvious about it. He’d chosen a hermit’s life. “Your sister said you never wrote back to her.” Perhaps she should take that as a warning. Was that how he handled all his relationships? Just let them wither away? You could only have a relationship of any kind, be it family or friends or lovers, if both people were willing to reach toward each other. It wasn’t, as some said, hard work in the sense of being unpleasant or tedious or painful—that was a myth perpetuated by people with a vested interest in telling you to stay in a terrible relationship—but itdidrequire effort. You had to try.
“I didn’t know what to say.”
“You could have saidthat. It’s better than silence.” She hadn’t meant to start an argument, especially after the swim with the sea turtle and the kiss. Halfway down, she twisted to see the aquarium behind her. The turtle drifted by, his flippers propelling him sideways through the water. She continued to climb down.
Above her, Yarrow said, “What about your family? What have you said to them?”
Oh? That was where he wanted to go with this? “That’s different,” Terlu said.
