He put in good work. He deserves a little nap. “After making me come like that, you can do whatever the hell you want.”
“Like move here and get an apartment with you?”
That catches me completely off guard. “Excuse me?”
“It’s a joke. Kind of.”
I hop to help pull up my shorts, pretending my heart is pounding from the exertion rather than his suggestion. “What do you mean ‘kind of’?”
“I know you don’t want to leave LA, but I’m about done with Seattle,” he says. “I was thinking about San Francisco. My company has an office there, and there are plenty of other tech companies in the area. Then I’d only be a car ride away from you instead of a flight.”
If he wanted to get away from work, I’d understand, but I can read him better than that. He wants to move so he can be with me.
I stare at him, waiting for him to catch on to what he’s suggesting. Moving to another state to be with someone who can’t give him the love he needs? That doesn’t sound familiar to him?He’s joking.
“Babe, stop,” I say with a laugh. “You can’t play with me like that after sex. I thought you were serious.”
What I meant as a tease makes his smile fade away. Heisserious.
“Wait. You really want to move to California?”
“Is it so bad to be a little closer?” he asks.
“San Francisco’s a six-hour drive compared to a three-hour flight. That’s not that much closer, logistically.”
He shrugs. “A drive is easier than dealing with the TSA.”
It doesn’t make sense for Liem to leave Seattle. Even though his family wouldn’t mind the distance, he would go from being mostly alone in a city he knows to completely alone in a new place, virtually no closer to me than before. We’ve seen each other twice since we left Brooklyn. If that’s not enough for him, that means he wantsmore.
I can’t give him more when I still have nothing for myself. I have too many dreams to achieve before I can think about having more.
My phone’s alarm interrupts the awkward silence. “Shit, it’s later than I thought. I’ll have to go to the museum right after my walk.” That’s true, even if it makes for a convenient excuse to avoid this conversation. “Are you good to ride to the event with Keisha? She’ll be here in a few minutes.”
“Yeah, I’m good.”Then tell that to your face.
“We’ll talk more after the event, okay?”
His smile perks up, but it doesn’t meet his eyes. “Okay.”
I kiss his cheek then run out the door, running away from the conversation as well.
We’ll talk when I can figure out a way to tell him no withoutripping his beautiful heart to shreds.
Thirty-one
Bri
Liem is the success story I want for myself. He has a good job, and he could get adifferentgood job if he wanted.IfI tell him it’s okay. I know him better than that. He wants to be close to me because he wants me to fill the void of affection he has in his life. The same affection he let Natalie pretend to provide until she felt she was using him. He hasn’t made friends; he hasn’t ironed anything out with his family. Leaving them for a woman again would exacerbate all his relationship problems, not help him mend them. I haven’t landed the job I want, gotten my own place, or paid down my debt.
We both want the Brooklyn fantasy world again, but if we go back now, just like back then, we’ll get a wakeup call eventually.
“Amber, can you grab that vase?” I ignore the voice until the manager turns to face me. “Can you grab that for me?”
Amber. That’s a new one. “Sure.”
I set the vase on the table, and the florist takes over, shovingsneeze-inducing blooms into the top. The last-minute rush is always fun to watch. There’s not much I can do other than be a pair of hands where needed, and everyone seems to need everyone else to get out of their way.
I could jump in and be proactive or something, if I could focus in this space.
