“I should.” We look at each other, neither of us saying anything, our smirks matching while we play chicken. I give in first. “I missyou.”
“I miss you more.”
“Goodnight.”
“Night.”
We end the call, and I linger in the quiet, teetering between excitement and guilt. I have to be careful with Liem. For his own good as well as mine.
Twenty-nine
Liem
So, I told Bri I love her. Should I jump off a bridge or . . . ?
Do I love her? Obviously. Did I mean to tell her? Hell no.
While she took it well, translating my slip into something a normal person would think, that’s not completely true. I love Bri the way she loves all her friends, but I alsoloveBri. Maybe I’m notinlove with her, even if my body has never yearned like this for anyone else.
It’s not just because we had sex—lots of mind-blowing sex. I’m not confusing it the way I confused it with Natalie, believing she loves me because she sleeps with me. My bond with Bri is differentin every way.
I do love her. But not likethat.
Last night, I dreamt I got to give her an orgasm again, felt her body squeezing around me and her fingers digging into my skin. I woke up thinking I was lying on her chest, only to find a pillow beneath me and a sticky mess on my sheets.
After starting a load of laundry, I check my notifications and see the email from corporate. A nondescript invite to a meeting on a Saturday afternoon is never a good sign. Surely, I didn’t jinx anything by telling Bri I would be okay. Sai and I won’t be the first in line, but it ultimately depends on how deep the cuts will be.
I send him a text.
Me: Should I be worried?
Sai: About what?
Me: The meeting invite
Sai: What meeting invite?
Well, now I’mdefinitelyworried.
I make a late breakfast—Bri’s favorite chili oil eggs on some leftover rice—and try not to spiral before I know what the meeting is about. I’m getting fired for sure.
My heart thumps in my chest when I open my laptop. Ten minutes before the meeting. I text Bri.
Me: I’m stressing. Tell me something good
The typing dots appear right after, lifting my mood.
Bri: You exist.
Two words and I’m smiling again, my face warm, heartbeat irregular in a good way.
Even if I don’t get fired, it will take everything in me not to begher to move in once she gets her apartment. And she will. It’s only a matter of time before she creates the nest she wants for herself and lets me in again.
The meeting starts, and my smile evaporates. “This isn’t the news we wanted to share. Unfortunately, the company will need to cut costs.”
Blah, blah, corporate greed, blah. This is going to suck.
~
