“This country certainly is unlike anywhere else.”She pins me with a look that makes my heart flip-flop in my chest.“Is it the only thing you’re still truly, madly, deeply in love with?”
My hand freezes halfway to the bag of chocolate I was reaching for.“What do you mean?”
“Abby.You and I may not be as close as you and Drew are, but Iknowyou.You were never the same after you came back from Scotland all those years ago.We didn’t see each other as much once you moved to Toronto, but I knew something was different.Your spark had dulled a bit.I chalked it up to the big life transition of moving, working, and living in a new city, but whenever Graeme came up, your whole demeanour changed.”
I lean toward Drew until I can hear her deep, even breaths.When I sit up, I angle so I’m facing Fern.She does the same, resting her bent knees on top of mine.“Drew doesn’t know.”
“And I’d never say anything,” Fern assures me.“It’s not my place.But I thinkyoushould tell her.”
“It’s too late now,” I say automatically.“In twenty years of friendship, this is the only thing I’ve ever kept from her.It’s not like it matters at this point anyway.”
“Why not?”
I sigh.“For starters, Graeme has moved on.”
She lifts one eyebrow.“And you haven’t?”
“Of course I have.I meant to say Graeme and I havebothmoved on.It’s been years.”
“Hmm.”She falls silent, dropping her attention to her hands and playing with the many rings on her fingers.I know her well enough to know she’s contemplating what to say next.To those outside our friend circle, it may seem like Fern lives in her own little world.While that’s true some of the time, she’s always been the observer of The Crew.She sees things the rest of us don’t, which means I shouldn’t be surprised she knew I was in love with Graeme.
She makes another humming sound and nods to herself as if she’s decided to say whatever is on her mind.“And yet he still looks at you as if you hung the moon.Andyou...well, you look athimas if you see your forever.”
Before I can respond, she pats my leg and gets to her feet.“I’m going to go wash my hands.All I can smell is chippy sauce and cheese and onion crisps.”
“You’re really going to drop that bomb and then just walk away?”I whisper-hiss.
“It’s called a truth bomb for a reason.Maybe it’ll shake you up and get you moving.”
“Get me movingwhere?”Not for the first time in our many years of friendship, I feel like I’m conversing with Yoda, who doles out wisdom in riddles.That feeling is cemented when Fern’s only response is an enigmatic smile as she heads out of the room.
Muttering to myself, I tidy the area around our bed and gather our trash and dirty dishes.In the kitchen, I wash the dishes and leave them to dry overnight.Down the hall, Graeme’s office door is slightly ajar.The thin rectangle of light spilling across the floor is the only thing illuminating the dark hallway.By the time I return to the living room, Fern is stretched out on her side of the bed, scrolling through her phone.I step back into the hall, my eyes going immediately to that strip of light on the floor.
Curiosity gets the best of me, and I slink over to the door to peek inside.There’s been no reason for me to be inside this room since we arrived, so this is my first time seeing it.A bookcase takes up most of one wall, with two comfortable-looking armchairs and a small table in front of it.Graeme is sitting at a large desk across the room between the two windows.Instead of facing the computer, he’s swivelling his desk chair gently from side to side and staring into space.
Other than his pensive expression, the first thing I notice is that he’s wearing glasses.Seeing Graeme in glasses reminds me of seeing him in a kilt for the first time.Fern said I look at him as if I see my forever, but if she could see me right now, I bet my expression would be pure lust.
“You can come in,” Graeme says, startling me.“I should be finishing up some work, but my brain stopped working about ten minutes ago.”
I step fully into the room, stopping just inside the door.
“You lasses having fun?”he asks.
“Yeah, it’s been a great night.Thanks again for setting it up.”
“My pleasure,” he says.“Do you need anything?”
“No.Drew fell asleep a while ago, and Fern is ready for bed.I was just...being nosy.”
His face softens as he chuckles.He takes off his glasses, tossing them onto the desk with one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other.I watch him for a moment before my gaze drifts over his shoulder to the framed photos on the wall.Like the gallery in the spare bedroom, they’re all pictures I took fourteen years ago.
“They’re all over the flat, which I’m sure you’ve noticed,” he says when I can’t pry my eyes away from a trio of shots I took on the Isle of Skye.
“I’m surprised you’d want them around.Aren’t they a reminder of...”I trail off, unsure how to finish that sentence.It feels odd and selfish to say ‘a reminder of me’.
“They’re a reminder of one of the best few weeks of my life,” Graeme says.“People comment on them all the time, assuming I bought them from a professional, and asking where they can buy some for themselves.They’re gorgeous shots, Abby.”
One side of my mouth lifts in an absent smile.“Thank you.I just thought it might be...that you...”I huff out a frustrated breath.I shouldn’t be in here.If I were smart, I’d go back to the living room, curl up with the others, and go to sleep.
