Me:It’s one date. It could be a bust like my last two first dates.
Julian:If it is, it won’t be your fault.
Me:How do you know? Maybe I’m not ready for this. What if I hate him?
Me:Or worse, what if he hates me?
Julian:The first is probable. The last, not so much.
Me:How would you know?
Julian:Personal experience.
I can’t help it. I’m smiling down at the screen, grateful no one can see me.
Julian:Don’t be nervous. Seriously.
Three bubbles appear and disappear in quick succession before they go away completely. I should be surprised by the wave of disappointment that washes over me. Or better yet, I shouldn’t feel it at all. But before I can fully analyze it, his text comes in.
Julian:I can help you prep if you want.
I’m way too excited about the prospect. What’s worse, I’m excited about seeing Julian again. But Bella can’t be right. I’ve made up my mind about him twice over. We’re friends—tentative friends, at that. Nothing more.
16
Julian
Okay, pretend I’m Nathaniel.”
The complete and utter shock on Leti’s face is worth sweating through Andrew’s hiking boots and North Face jacket after trekking up the humid stairwell to her apartment. I’m dying for her to let me in already so I can cool off in the glorious AC hitting my face through her open door. I slide my blue-tinted sunglasses up to the crown of my head to see her better. Re-creating Nathaniel’s Enchanted Rock selfie is worth it, though, because I’ve never seen Leti smile the way she is now.
She covers her mouth with both hands, but it’s not nearly enough to muffle her laughter. As I walk through her front door, she backs up one step before tripping over the shoe rack and landing flat on her ass. I’d be more concerned if she hadn’t burst into a fit of giggles she can no longer contain.
“Come on, I know I’m not as built as that guy, but you get the picture.” I reach down to offer my hand, which she takes once she’s calmed down enough.
“Permanent. Record.” She emphasizes each word with a clap of her hands.
“What the hell is that?”
“You’re a teacher, so you should know.” She taps a finger to her temple. “I’m making a mental catalogue of your lowest, most embarrassing moments.” She smirks before counting them off on her fingers. “The time you polished off my eight-dollar truffle fries, breaking into my dating profiles without my permission, and now this.”
“Always bringing up old shit.” I shake my head and tsk. “You forgot the time we dated twice.”
“Well, that makes both of us look bad.” I let out a laugh as she cringes. “But, please, for the love of god, warn me the next time you’re about to do something like this. I was not prepared for you to come dressed exactly like Nathaniel. Did you already own this whole”—she waves a hand to indicate my outfit—“look?”
“Borrowed most of this from your brother. I’d never own something so douchey.” I wink. “Let’s get to business, woman.”
“Am I really expected to take you seriously right now?” She follows me into the living room. “Can you at least take off the sunglasses?”
“It’s part of the role,” I tell her. “I’m not Julian. Today, I’m Nathaniel.”
There’s only one way to describe the curve of her lips as she looks at me: radiant. Like the photos on her wall, surrounded by the people she loves most. She’s lit up from the inside out, and it’s because of me.
It’s only once the practice date is over that I realize the amount of absurd shit I’ve been doing the past couple weeks isn’t normal. Dressing up as Nathaniel. Breaking into her dating accounts. Spending my entire planning period in the teacher’s lounge printing upward of fifty pages in order to help her, not that Leti ever asked forthismuch help from me.
It’s all been in service of her. Of making her smile. Making her laugh. Making her…happy. Ultimately, with someone who isn’t me. This was my idea, wasn’t it? Then why does it suddenly sound like the stupidest goddamn thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life?
Holy shit.
