“No running in dark corners!” He emerges from the hallway carrying Alicia in his arms. “I almost ran you down like a bowling pin.” He strokes her hair back affectionately. She burrows her dark, curly head into the crook of his neck, content. Andrew glances up at me suddenly, and I realize I’m staring. “What?”
“I swear to god, if you and Kayla have kids before I have my first real relationship—”
“Whoa, slow down.” He lets out a nervous laugh. “Kayla and I haven’t been together long enough to be talking about…all of that.”
I stare at him for a beat. “You’ve been together for almost a year.”
“Exactly. I’m gonna need about four or five more before I decide to end my life before it starts.”
Before I can roll my eyes at such a classic Andrew response to even the thought of settling down, the clatter of tinier feet sound from behind, where Diego is carefully following behind his eight-month-old. Mateo only started walking a few weeks ago, but once he started there was no stopping him.
“Come here!” I scoot forward on the edge of the couch, slapping my knees until Mateo looks up at me with his big, brown eyes. “Come here, Mateo!”
“He’s not a dog.” I ignore my brother and keep my focus on Mateo. At the sound of his name, he rushes forward. Once he’s close enough, I sweep him up off the ground and into my arms. He giggles into my shoulder as I coo baby nonsense at him.
“So, why are you upset?” Diego asks, having only caught the last half of our conversation.
Before I have the chance to answer, Andrew chimes in. “Dating prospects don’t look so good.”
I glower at him, covering Mateo’s eyes from my death stare. He’s too young to witness such a look from me.
“There’s something I don’t miss.” Diego chuckles. “The chasing, the games. Elena and I lucked out meeting early in life.”
“My prospects are fine, thank you very much,” I lie, thinking of the last message I sent to Julian and kicking myself for jumping the gun. Right when I thought I’d lucked out, I had to go and scare him away. Actually, fuck that. If he scares that easy, I’d rather wait to meet someone better. I’m through changing myself to be more palatable to a romantic partner. I learned my lesson a long time ago.
“I thought being bisexual was supposed to give you twice the options,” my brother says. “It’s been, what, ten years since you’ve been in any kind of relationship? You’re too far gone to try dating apps now. At this point, just head straight for a convent.”
He snickers at his own joke, and Diego merely shrugs and sends me an apologetic look. I wave it off, unfortunately used to my brother’s twisted sense of humor by now.
“Biromantic,” I correct, more to myself because this is far from the first time I’ve had to. “And it’s only been four years, not that it’s any of your business.”
Are we conditioned as a society to immediately forget and dismiss what we don’t understand, or is that just my brother? Every time I try to explain that I’m ace-spec, he covers his ears and says he doesn’t need to hear about his sister’s sex life. Not that I’ve ever had one, but I’m not about to let on that his convent comment is too spot on for my liking.
Despite Andrew and I being closer in age, Elena is the sibling I’m closest to. Growing up, she could always tell when something was wrong with scary, maternal-like accuracy. When I got my period forthe first time, I ran to her for answers instead of our mother. When none of my high school crushes worked out, I sought her out for comfort. When I realized I didn’t experience sexual attraction like everyone else—that I didn’t really understand what it was to begin with—she pulled up the asexual visibility and education network website on her computer and showed it to me.
“Tell her she needs to get off the dating apps!” Elena calls from the hallway, and I roll my eyes when Andrew breaks into another fit of laughter.
“What is she doing back there?” I ask Diego.
“Babyproofing before we leave the kids for the weekend,” he says. “I finally convinced her it’s time we take that vacation we’ve been talking about for years.”
Andrew grumbles to himself, and then calls to Elena, “You better undo everything you’re doing over there when you get back!”
“I still don’t understand why she won’t leave them with me.” Mateo makes a gurgling noise, which I take as commiseration. “See, Mateo agrees. He’d much rather stay with me.”
“Don’t you start.” Andrew glowers at me. “Elena never lets me babysit, and you’re half the reason.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You convinced her I’m not responsible enough to take care of my own niece and nephew,” he says. “I had to get Diego on my side before she agreed to let them stay here.”
“Leave me out of this.” Diego holds out his hands in surrender.
“I never told her you’re not responsible.” I turn my nose up at him. “I’m practically a co-parent by default, living with Bella and her daughter. Between you and me, I’m the most natural choice to babysit. If she thinks you’re irresponsible, she came to that conclusion all by herself.”
“Yeah, right,” he says gruffly. “I can handle babysitting.”
“For an afternoon, sure. But a whole weekend?” I glance at Diego. “Are you sure this is a good—”
