On this particular Tuesday afternoon, though, my head was anywhere but in my theory notes. I’d been trying to shovel information about Barolo soil types into my mind for the better part of two days, and none of it had stuck.
Being in love with Fiona Fisher was many things. Some were rapturous. Most were torturous. For the last few days, it had been both – and on top of them, it had been a huge fucking distraction.
You did a great job, Satoshi,Carlton’s boss had told me on Friday.Your wine knowledge is impeccable. Your service skills are top-notch. But there were a few moments, especially as the night went on, when it felt like you weren’t really present.
Thank you,I’d replied.That’s great feedback. I’ll work on that.
I’d only been half-listening. I could still feel Fiona’s fingers, twined through mine, pressed above her head.
A good night’s sleep hadn’t helped. Frankly, a good night’s sleep hadn’t happened. I’d mixed up more orders over the weekend than in the entire three years Tsundoku had been open. I hadn’t been lying to Okasan about being too busy to come to our regular Monday night family dinner, but I’d left out the part about sitting down to study and getting so distracted by the memory of Fiona smiling at me in the candlelight – flickering like that little flame of hope in my heart – that I didn’t realise I’d been staring into space for a full hour until Yquem jumped on me, demanding her dinner.
Outside the front window, it started to rain – a slow drift at first, but then gradually getting heavier. I glanced at the weather app on my phone. It was set to continue well into the night.
I grabbed my umbrella so I could retrieve my A-frame chalkboard from the footpath. People tended to stay home when it rained, which, tonight, was probably a good thing. The last thingI wanted was to fuck up something so badly it impacted Tsundoku’s pristine online reviews.
‘Satoshi!’
I blinked. ‘Hello, Lex!’ I held my umbrella out to shelter them from the rain. ‘Fancy seeing you here.’
‘You’re not closing, are you?’ Anxiety was written large in their eyes.
‘No, no. I’m just rescuing this—’ I hefted up the A-frame with my free hand ‘—before the rain washes it clean. Are you here by yourself?’
Lex shook their head. ‘Mum’s parked over there.’ They pointed down the road.
My heart had almost disintegrated at the notion that Fiona would rather sit in her car than come into Tsundoku when Lex added, ‘Rosie and Georgia are at indoor soccer training, and she’s calling their friend’s mum to confirm they’re going to their place for dinner. She said she’ll be in in a minute. Do you have any new books?’
‘Do I have any new books? It’s like you don’t know me at all.’ I only just managed to find an appropriately jovial tone as my heart reformed in my chest and started racing. ‘Come on in.’
I’d pointed Lex towards the queer YA books I’d planted in the shelves for them, listened to them talk for seven unbroken minutes about the latest one they’d read, and got them set up in a corner with a hot chocolate by the time Fiona finally came in, holding her jacket over her head. ‘Oh my goodness, it’s pouring!’ she said, peeling it off and causing me to feel momentarily faint at the sight of her exposed, damp, slightly flushed collarbone. ‘I’m so sorry, Satoshi, I don’t mean to drip all over your floor, but I forgot my umbrella, and—’
‘It’s fine, don’t worry!’ Did I always sound like this?Everything is fine, I’ll do anything for you, I’ll lie down on the ground so you can walk all over me if you’ll just let me touch you again.‘Let me hang that up for you.’
I took her jacket. ‘The coat rack’s all yours today,’ I said with forced casualness. ‘You’re my only customers. The rain scared everyone else away.’
‘Everyone else is clearly more sensible than me.’ Fiona plucked at her damp shirt. ‘But I promised Lex they could come and look at the books – god, I’m so wet.’
She heard what she’d said before I did. It was only when colour flooded her cheeks that I realised the double entendre.
‘Are you?’ I hooked the tip of one finger under the elbow-length sleeve of her shirt and tugged at it, just a little.
Fiona’s breath caught in her throat.
It was difficult to resist the urge to grin. ‘I could help you out with that, if you want.’
Her eyes widened, darting towards Lex.
‘I’m sure I’ve got a spare shirt out the back,’ I clarified, in my most professional voice. ‘Do you want me to take you back there?’
If she said yes, I would have my hands on her before she could say a single word. I’d close my office door behind us and kiss her hard against it as I hiked her skirt up. Then I’d go to my knees, yank her underwear off, pull one of her legs over my shoulder, and—
‘That’s probably not a good idea.’ Her face had gone the colour of Beaujolais. ‘You have to… you know, look after things out here.’
She was, unfortunately, right. My evening staff weren’t due in for another hour, and no matter how fast I could make Fiona come, there really was no appropriate length of time to leave a twelve-year-old as the sole person in charge of a bar, even if it was completely empty.
‘Whatever you want,’ I said, trying to keep my voice light. ‘Drink?’
Fiona slid onto a barstool as I retreated behind the safety of the bar. ‘I shouldn’t. I’m driving.’
