‘It’s all going to be over soon,’ Kavita said comfortingly.
‘And he’s going to pay,’ Chess said, much more menacingly. ‘Big time.’
I exhaled slowly, opening my eyes again.This could be worse, I tried to make myself believe.This could all be so much worse.
At least I had Chess and Kavita. Chess, a high-powered corporate lawyer who had flown in that morning from Sydney, was Sadie’s sister. They’d had some kind of falling out after Sadie and Jonah had got married that I didn’t really understand, but they’d mended fences a few months ago, and she’d been a massive help ever since. She’d taken one look at the family lawyer representing me in the divorce, said a flatno, found me Kavita (She seems like a marshmallow on the surface, but she’s a shark, she’d assured me over a glass of wine at Tsundoku) and talked her into taking my case pro bono. Then, when Chess found out I was married tothatMatt Sinclair, who was apparently notorious in some of the circles she ran in, she’d taken on digging into his finances personally.He’s a rich arsehole business bro, she’d told me bluntly when I protested that she was doing too much.I deal with them all the time and I know all their tricks for hiding money. Let me use my powers for good for once.
I wished I could have enjoyed the way the colour drained from Matt’s face in the mediation meeting as Chess outlined everything he’d tried to conceal, ticking various offshore accounts and shell companies off on her fingers in response to his lawyers’ argument that he didn’t have the assets to pay me more than the bare minimum in child support. I wished I could have enjoyed the muscle that started to twitch in his jaw as he realised thatdespite all his money, my legal team was better than his; the way his nose started to turn red as he figured out he wasn’t going to get away with leaving as cleanly as he thought.
But I still had the memory of all those years in my veins. Every time I’d let him touch me. Every time I’d let him kiss me.I love you,he’d told me time and time again, this pathetic, venal, red-nosed man – and blithely, without a doubt, I’d believed him.
‘Fiona, you need to be reasonable here.’ It was the first sentence Matt had said directly to my face in months, ever since that cold, grey morning last year when Satoshi had walked me home. ‘I’ve got four other children to support.’
‘Four?’ escaped me before I could bite it back.
Matt caressed Laura’s belly. ‘Twins.’
Cold sweat began to bead in my hairline.
I was barely half-aware of what was happening as Kavita and Chess hammered out a child support agreement with Matt’s lawyers. I only really understood that we’d got what we’d wanted – the house, the car, and a generous monthly sum which would mean I could stop taking money from my parents and wouldn’t have to take every single copywriting gig I could find just to keep us afloat – when Chess squeezed my fingers under the table. I could hear my own blood, rushing in my ears.
‘All right,’ the mediator said. ‘Let’s move on to custody and visitation.’
‘My client agrees that Ms Fisher should have primary custody of Alexan—’
‘Lex,’ Chess, Kavita and I all snapped at the same time.
‘Yes, of course, my apologies – of Lex, Rosemary and Georgia,’ Matt’s lawyer said. ‘We would, however, like to discuss visitation.’
‘No.’
Both Chess and Kavita’s hands landed on my knees under the table, but I ignored them. ‘Absolutely not.’
‘Fiona,’ Matt said, his voice infuriatingly even, ‘they’re my children too.’
‘You don’t deserve them.’
‘I know the circumstances aren’t ideal, but—’
‘The circumstances aren’t ideal?! You abandoned them!’
‘How about we take a quick five-minute break?’ Kavita suggested.
‘I thought it would be easier for you,’ Matt said. ‘Not to have to see me. And for them not to see me either for a bit, so they didn’t get confused.’
‘Confused?’
‘Fiona—’
‘They know what you fucking did, Matt! They know you choseher—’
‘Her name is Laura.’
‘—and your other kids over them, and they’re going to have to carry that for the rest of their lives! Do you know how long it took for Rosie to stop crying herself to sleep? How Georgia keeps having nightmares about waking up all alone? How angry Lex is? Do you really think I’m going to let you see them again, after what you fuckingdid to them?’
‘That’s not your choice to make, Fiona,’ Matt said. ‘That’s what we’re all here to decide. And if you could calm down and stop swearing at me, maybe we could figure it out like adults.’
‘Don’t tell her to calm down,’ Chess said sharply.
