She paused for a moment, then nodded. Her hair was warm as I pushed the bobby pin back into place.
‘Thanks,’ she said.
Oh God. Oh no.
I flexed my hand, trying to get the feeling of her sun-warm hair off my fingers. This was exactly what Elias had warned me about. It might be more subtle thanI’m thinking of leaving my husband,but Sadie was too smart to use a sledgehammer when a stiletto would do. She’d slid it right between my ribs and—
‘Your hair is not okay, by the way,’ she said sharply. ‘Make sure you look at yourself in a mirror before you give your job talk.’
‘Oh, um…’
She was walking away before I could get thethank youout of my mouth.
The other two candidates were already there when we arrived at the lecture theatre. ‘Jonah!’ one of them said, standing up and shaking my hand enthusiastically. ‘Nice to see you here, mate!’
I doubted I’d hear a bigger lie that day. Rory Worland was another early modern scholar. When I’d intermitted my PhD to take a research assistantship, he’d been the other RA, and he wasnota fan of mine.23‘Nice to see you too,’ I said, extricating myself.
‘And hello to you too.’ He turned his grin on Sadie. ‘You are…?’
‘Going over there.’
Sadie walked away, sitting down a healthy distance away from the fourth candidate – a modernist scholar, I guessed, given she’d brought along a copy ofLolly Willowesby Sylvia Townsend Warner as a job talk prop – and put her earbuds in again.
‘Nice girl,’ Rory said. ‘Friend of yours?’
‘Not really.’ If he thought Sadie was somehow allied with me, he’d spend the next twenty minutes trying to either make her life miserable or win her over to Team Rory’s Garbage Arguments. ‘Excuse me.’
Sadie had been right about my hair. The wind had done a number on it. I combed water through it in the bathroom with my fingers, trying to get it to lay flat, but it wouldn’t, a lock near the front falling stubbornly in front of my left eye.
There was a buzz from my satchel. I fished my phone out. FIONA flashed up on the display.
I hesitated. I probably shouldn’t take it. I should do what Sadie was doing outside, get myself in the zone, hype myself up.
But I didn’t have it in me to deny Fi, not right now. ‘Hey,’ I said, wedging my phone between my shoulder and my ear as I tried unsuccessfully to get my hair out of my eyes again. ‘How’s everything?’
‘The same.’ Her voice was businesslike, but I could hear the quaver underneath it. ‘I just wanted to wish you good luck.’
‘Thanks, Fi. I’m going to do everything I possibly can. I promise.’
‘I don’t suppose you have time for a coffee afterwards?’ There was a note in her voice, something between wistful and hopeful. ‘Or to pop round to the house? Bellerive’s not far from the Lyons campus, and the kids would love to see you. I would too.’
‘I wish I did.’ Why, why,whywas I constantly letting my sister down? ‘But we have to head straight to the airport after we’re done here.’
‘Oh, okay.’ I could feel, rather than hear, her sigh. ‘No problem.’
‘I’m so sorry. I asked Lyons if I could stay a couple of extra days and take a later flight back, but since it’s so close to Christmas, airfares are getting ridiculously expensive and they wouldn’t fork out for it.’
‘Don’t worry about it.’ She laughed shakily. ‘You’ll be here for good soon enough.’
‘Don’t get your—’
‘Hopes up, I know, I know. But I can’t help it, Jonah.’
I swallowed.
‘The kids are so excited that you might be moving here,’ she added.
My blood ran cold.24She’d told the kids? She’d gotthe kids’hopes up?
