She looked at me – not blankly, not like she didn’t understand what I was saying, but with a deliberate expressionlessness. ‘And thenwhat?’
‘What happens next, in this plan of yours? Going on reality TV isn’t something you can just walk back. This isn’t some temp job you can dip into for six weeks then step out of again and go back to your real life.’
There was an ache at the base of my skull, the sign that a massive tension headache was building. ‘If you do this, then this is who you are to the world, forever. Lily Fireball. Twenty-five – nice ten-year age discount you’ve given yourself there, by the way. Entrepreneur. Nation’s biggest bitch.’
‘And there’ll be abuse and death threats, et cetera, et cetera.’ She sounded as calm as if she were discussing the weather, side-stepping what I was actually saying as easily as if it was a puddle on a footpath. A year away clearly hadn’t blunted her skills. ‘I’m well aware of the consequences. I’ve orchestrated some of them. Karmically, it’s probably my turn – although the bonus racism and anti-Asian bullshit it’ll come with will be, I acknowledge, an extra little treat just for me.’
She tapped her fingernails against her knee. They were painted the same red as her lips, pristine and perfect.
She wasn’t wearing her wedding ring. It was the first time I’d seen her without it since her actual wedding.
‘But we both know how good I am at ruining people’s lives,’ she said. ‘Now I’ll just be doing it in public.’
Her tone was cheerful. Of all the things in the world: cheerful.
I had a sudden flashback to that last day I’d seen her. When I’d got into my car to leave her house, the morning after the funeral, I’d caught a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror. Lily’s lipstick was smeared all over my shirt collar, like someone had tried to slit my throat.
I’d glanced back at her. Standing on her doorstep in her dressing gown, arms wrapped around herself, she’d looked so small.
Everything in me had told me to open my car door. To go back to her. To hold her a while longer.
But I’d listened to her. I always listened to her. She’d told me she wanted me to go, that she wanted time and space, and Lily Ong had always been a woman who knew exactly what she wanted.
So I’d gone. I’d done what she asked, let her go no-contact, and waited for her to come back to me when she was ready. I waited for my best friend, my partner, the person I trusted most in the world, to take her place beside me again, where she belonged.
I’d made the wrong decision.
I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.
‘No,’ I said.
She raised an eyebrow. ‘No?’
‘No.’ I pulled out my phone. ‘No, we are not doing this, Lily.Youare not doing this.’
Fucking Greg answered on the second ring. ‘O’Connell! How did you like my surprise?’
‘Hi Greg!’ Lily called brightly.
I glared at her. She looked back, completely unabashed.
‘Am I right, or am I right?’ he said. I hated everything about the tone in his voice.
‘Look, this isn’t going to work, Greg,’ I said. ‘Trust me on this. I’m not sending Lily in.’
‘Yes, you fucking are!’ he exclaimed. ‘She’s just the spicy meatball you need, O’Connell. If you can’t see that, I’ve got serious questions about your judgement.’
I pressed two fingers into my twitching eye and searched for a line that would work. ‘It’s not the right tone for the season. We’ve talked about what we’re going for, what’ll bring us those ratings. High romance. Real fairytale shit. Throwing such a big villain into the mix will—’
‘Only make it better! Your plans are full of sugar. They need some spice to balance the nice. What fairy tale doesn’t have an evil queen?’
God-fucking-damn it.
Lily folded her hands in her lap, the picture of innocence, but she couldn’t fool me. Those were her words coming out of Greg’s mouth.
‘Fine,’ I said. ‘You want an all-time legendary villain, I’ll give you one. I’ve cast some women we can produce into that role. But it can’t be Lily.’
‘Who better than Lily? She knows the show inside out. Plus, isn’t this season all about diversity? She’s diverse! What is she again? Vietnamese? I always forget.’
