She nodded. Romeo-Dylan wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her face in his shirt…
The night of the funeral.
My fingers against the back of her head, pressing her against me as she fell apart in my arms.
Blood of My Enemies,all over my shirt.
I looked away, busying myself by digging through my utility belt for another muesli bar.
‘Julia Roberts might be the bridesmaid inMy Best Friend’s Wedding,’ Romeo-Dylan said, ‘but she was also the main character, okay? It’s hard to be the bad guy if it’s your story.’
‘I’m going to get that embroidered on a pillow,’ Lily said, smiling that watery, vulnerable smile up at him.
Behind her, Marija, who had emerged onto the set wearing a wedding dress, rolled her eyes.
‘All right!’ I called, my voice a little croaky. ‘Let’s get set for our first shot.’
Lily turned away from Romeo-Dylan. Completely dry-eyed, she gave Marija a little wink.
Another perfect moment I would have to put on television, the kind that would have everyone talking about Lily Fireball.
Another moment which made my stomach lurch like I was coming to the top of a rollercoaster, anticipating the drop.
Unsurprisingly, I was right about Amanda and Juliet-Dylan.
We’d put them together in aPride and Prejudice-themed shoot with Romeo-Dylan. He was Mr Darcy, Juliet-Dylan was Lizzy, and Amanda was in drag as Mr Wickham (Carrie’s idea: ‘she’s our frontburner potential bicon,’ she’d said, ‘let’s give ourselves some good promo shots in case she decides she wants to be out on the show’). Contestants often reacted badly when we put them in a not-conventionally-attractive costume, but Amanda threw herself into the role. ‘Let’s have a duel, Mr Darcy!’ she declared. ‘For Lizzy!’
I stepped in and tried to redirect the narrative, but the snowball was moving too fast down the hill. ‘Mandie, look at me,’ Juliet-Dylan instructed. ‘Practise on me first. Show me your intimidating glare.’
Amanda looked deep into Juliet-Dylan’s eyes.
And – very clearly, very obviously, in a way completely free of any nuance or subtlety – she fell head over heels in love with her.
‘Touché, Murray,’ Suzette said to me as we wrapped up. ‘You were right.’
‘Yeah.’ Carrie winced. ‘Sorry.’
If it had been Lily and I disagreeing, I would have rubbed the victory in, but there was no point. ‘I’m instituting a new rule,’ was all I said. ‘No putting Amanda and Dylan G on group dates together.’
‘This sucks,’ Carrie said. ‘This is the first time we’ve ever had a queer romance plot brewing that could be genuinely sweet and feel-good and not end up disgusting and exploitative. I can’t believe we have to kill it.’
‘I know. I’m sorry. But…’
‘Yeah, yeah, I get it.’ Carrie sighed. ‘It makes me feel dirty, though. Remind me to call my wife tonight. Tell her I love her.’
Thankfully for narrative course correction, Romeo-Dylan dutifully picked Juliet-Dylan for his post-date one-on-one time. ‘I had such a great time with Dylan G in ourPride and Prejudicephoto shoot today,’ he told me in ITMs. ‘What an honour, playing Mr Darcy to a Lizzy Bennet like that.’
It was a good line, but I made a note to brainstorm what the next step would be. Romeo-Dylan’s ‘she’s a hero, I’m so honoured to be in her presence’ awestruck thing was working well at the moment, but awe was not conducive to intimacy in the longer term.
I was going to have to sell the shift to him in a way that wouldn’t make him think he was doing anything wrong, too. Wasn’tthatgoing to be fun.
‘Great work, mate,’ I told him, when we finished the interview. ‘Well done.’
‘Thanks. Can I ask a favour?’
‘Of course.’ I steeled myself for more hand-holding. Hopefully this was something I could paper over with a quick pep talk. We were going to wait for full night until we shot his one-on-one time with Juliet-Dylan, so I finally had a couple of free hours for some food and a nap.
‘I want to go down to the Convent,’ Romeo-Dylan said. ‘I know I’m not supposed to have any contact with the eliminated Juliets, but I want to check on Cecilia. Make sure she’s all right.’
