‘Belinda was really struggling, though,’ Jess D said. ‘She was so self-conscious about her teeth.’
‘Suck it up. Stick it out,’ Lily said. ‘Opportunities like this are so rare. Who would just throw it away?’
I wanted to believe it was a sign of growth that I didn’t immediately say,Oh, I was totally going to leave too, but I thought getting dumped twice in one night would be a bit much for one man to handle.
It wasn’t, though. It was mostly just that I was distracted.
There were a thousand thoughts bouncing around my head and crashing into one another, but I decided to focus on the simplest one: I was going to kill Murray.
Lily had been right when she said the next few weeks would be boring TV if it was just about the Dylans falling in love. The show needed conflict. It needed drama.
And I was the spanner production was throwing into the works.
Of course Murray had made Romeo-Dylan and I kiss, even though neither of us particularly wanted to. How longhad he had Dylan waiting in the wings before he wheeled her out at the worst possible moment?
They’d done this kind of plotline before. A lot of times. It had been the foundation of that whole weird pairs season, but it happened all the time on other seasons, too. Two contestants would become friends, but then they’d get deep into the competition, they’d both develop feelings for the Romeo, and their jealousy would get in the way.
‘This show actively hates women,’ Jac had said, on one of the rare occasions she’d actually sat down and watched an episode with me. ‘Pitting them against each other like this is bullshit.’
‘Yeah, it’s not my favourite part of the show,’ I replied. ‘But it’ll probably be okay afterwards. They’ll get over it as soon as they’re out of the Villa. They’ll be all over each other’s Insta stories in no time, just you wait.’
The look Jac had given me had made it extremely clear that she would not be watching the Insta stories of anyMarry Me, Julietcontestants.
She’d been right, though. Pitting Dylan and I against each other like thiswasbullshit. As for whether the show hated women… I couldn’t speak for all women, but in that moment, it felt like it pretty actively hated me.
So I devoted my energy to actively hating Murray. I fantasised about finding my Lambo and running him over. It was safer than thinking about literally anything else.
It was nearly dawn by the time we finished filming. ‘All right, ladies, you can grab a couple of hours sleep,’ Carrie announced. ‘Sorry it’s not more, but tonight’s shoot tooklonger than we thought, and we’ve got a big date tomorrow. Don’t wrinkle those dresses – we’re going to do ITMs for tonight in the morning, so you’ll need to put them back on.’
None of us commented on the irony of in-the-moment interviews being filmed the next day. We were all well and truly used to it by now.
I knew there was going to be a fight for the bathroom, and that there was no way I would win that fight, so I sank down on the Necklace Ceremony bleachers and took off my heels instead. My calves, still aching after that jog (well, ‘jog’) with Parisa the other day, were screaming at me, almost as loudly as the braver version of me wanted to scream at Murray.
‘Hey.’
I looked up at Dylan. ‘Hey.’
Around us, the crew were taking down the lights, breaking down the set, so they could turn this room back into our living room. For once, they were paying no attention to us.
Which was a good thing, honestly. The awkward silence between Romeo-Dylan and I earlier had nothing on this one.
‘Want to go for a walk?’ she asked, after several excruciating moments.
‘We’re not supposed to go outside at night.’
‘It’s basically sunrise. If production has a problem with it, they can fight me.’
It was petty, but that was the thought that got me off my arse. I was very here for the concept of someone fighting production. Punching them, perhaps. Right in their scruffy, overtired, dad-meets-daddy face.
I looped the tail of my dress up over my arm and carried my heels as we walked outside. The dewy ground was freezing under my bare feet, but I didn’t mind. ‘My feet are cold’ was such a simple, easy thing to feel.
‘You’ve been avoiding me,’ Dylan said quietly.
‘No, I haven’t,’ I said. ‘Tonight was just chaotic, with Belinda leaving and everything.’
‘Not just tonight,’ she said. ‘For the last few days. Ever since the love machine day, when Heather got eliminated. You’ve barely spoken to me.’
‘That’s not true.’
