‘Oh, that’s so tough,’ I said. ‘I lost hours, but not my whole job. That must be brutal.’
‘Like you wouldn’t believe,’ she replied. ‘I haven’t been this stressed about money since I was eighteen.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘I’m still here for the right reasons, though,’ she said hurriedly. ‘Not just money. I promise.’
‘I wouldn’t think otherwise,’ I said reassuringly. ‘You can be here for the right reasons and also appreciate that there’s some money that goes along with it.’
The relief in Cece’s eyes was palpable. ‘So, um, why did you decide to come on the show?’
‘It was a bit of an impulse decision,’ I replied. ‘I’ve loved the show for a long time. I’ve watched every season. But this is the first time in quite a few years I’ve been single. I went through a break-up a few months ago.’
In the early days, right after the break-up, I’d started crying whenever I had to tell someone Jac and I had split.
Not this time, though. I got through that sentence as smoothly as if I’d been telling Cece about the weather.
Maybe it was the champagne, but I decided to splash out and award myself another item on my positive features list.8) I’m getting better at keeping it together.
‘Ouch,’ Cece said, wrinkling her nose. ‘I’ve been there. I’m sorry.’
‘It’s all right,’ I said, patting her arm. ‘That’s in the past.’
‘So is it—’ She paused. ‘Are you here for… revenge? On your ex?’
Over her shoulder, I caught sight of Dylan: both of them. Dylan had clearly been successful in ousting Lily Fireball, because she was sitting next to Romeo-Dylan, sea-witch dress glittering against the white of the couch cushions. He was laughing at something she said, head thrown back, and she was smiling too – one of those smiles that went all the way to her eyes – hand resting gently on his knee.
They looked like a stock photo.Beautiful happy couple,it would say. It would be an expensive stock photo too, because they both lookedsobeautiful,sohappy,soperfect together.
‘I meant it as revenge at the time,’ I said faintly, ‘but corny as it is, I really am here for love.’
They were going to be dynamite on the press tour. Everyone was going to gowildfor Double Dylan.
Cece wasn’t saying anything. The silence was stretching out, longer and longer.
‘I know the chances of winning aren’t very high,’ I said, forcing my attention back to her, ‘and even then a lot of Romeos don’t stay with their Juliet, but… what if it was me, you know? Why not me?’
I was lucky that Cece a) was so nervous that she was having problems thinking, and b) didn’t know me that well. ‘Exactly,’ she said, instead ofwell, there’s the fact that you’re none of the things that the Romeo is looking for, and also the fact that you’re such a vanilla ice cream person Jac would rather be with no one than be with you, so the chances of you beating fourteen other women isn’t high – I mean,could you really see a world where someone picks you instead of her?
Cece’s eyes were beginning to look desperate again, so I pushed the thought away. Iwasn’tgoing to fall apart. Iwasgoing to keep it together. ‘Plus, even if you don’t win, there’s alwaysJuliet on the Beach,’ I said, pulling Full Mum around me like a suit of armour. ‘There’s a few contestants from past seasons I wouldn’t mind seeing there, if you know what I mean.’
It wasn’t a lie. There were definitely several whose Instagrams I followed closely, men and women.
Maybe that would be a better environment for me, actually.Juliet on the Beachfeatured contestants from previous seasons who’d been dumped by their Romeo or Juliet, so everyone there would know the sting of rejection. The playing field might be a bit more even.
‘I wonder if they’ll even doJuliet on the Beachthis year,’ Dylan said, appearing next to me as if by magic. ‘How do you create a virus bubble on a beach?’
… except if Dylan was also onJuliet on the Beach, the playing field would be just as uneven as it was here. Who’d look my way if they could look hers?
‘There’s still time, isn’t there?’ I said, because Cece clearly wasn’t going to be the one to carry the conversation, and I wasn’t going to do this, I wasn’t going to be this person. I had enough bad features without adding ‘jealous monster’ to the list. ‘They’ve still got to film a season ofWherefore Art Thou Romeo?after us, so maybe by the time they’re ready to doJuliet on the Beach,all of this will be over.’
‘I really, sincerely doubt it,’ Dylan said. ‘I’m a nurse. I’ve seen how this bastard of a virus operates. We’ll be living with it for a while.’
‘You’re a nurse?’ Cece said.
I was strangely proud of her for managing to contribute to the conversation. I had to resist offering my congratulations.
‘I am,’ Dylan replied. ‘For seven years now.’
