Romeo-Dylan would have interjected.Hey, hey, hey,he’d say.Amanda’s a lovely person. She’s done nothing wrong.
I see you’ve found someone else to get your validation from,Jac would say.Someone new to wait around for. Adorable.
I’d start crying. She’d roll her eyes.And I see you still don’t have any self-respect,she’d say.Or a spine.
Romeo-Dylan and Murray were still arguing. ‘If you’re not worried about her, what about me?’ Romeo-Dylan was saying. ‘I had to sit through that whole brunch thinking you were going to violate her privacy in the worst possible way – knowing that, and not being able to tell her. Do you enjoy making me feel like the biggest arsehole on the face of the earth?’
‘How you feel,’ Murray said, ‘is not my concern, Dylan.’
‘Do you care about anything?’ Romeo-Dylan demanded.
‘I care about making good TV,’ Murray snarled. ‘Now shut up. It’s time for ITMs again.’
‘No. Not with you.’
‘Fine. You go with Carrie. Amanda, you come with me.’
‘You don’t have to,’ Romeo-Dylan said to me.
‘Yes, she does,’ Murray said.
‘No, you don’t,’ Romeo-Dylan said.
His eyes were kind. His fingers were gentle around mine. ‘Amanda, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, all right?’
I was going to miss him, I realised. I really did like him a lot. Steady was nothing to sneeze at.
‘It’s all right,’ I said. ‘I’m all right.’
‘Are you sure?’
I nodded.
He pressed a kiss to my temple. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispered.
It was the most genuine kiss he’d ever given me.
‘All right,’ Murray said, once we were all set up for our ITM. ‘Same deal as always. Full sentences. Look at me, not at the camera.’
‘Wait.’
‘We’re on a schedule, Amanda.’
‘This will only take a second,’ I said. ‘I just have one question.’
He leaned back in his chair. ‘Spit it out, then.’
‘Did you contact Jac? My ex-girlfriend?’
He raised his eyebrows.
‘Did you reach out to her?’ I asked. ‘Did you ask her to come on the show? Did she say no?’
‘Yes,’ Murray said.
I closed my eyes. Blood was pounding in my head.
‘However,’ he said, ‘if she had said yes, I wouldn’t have let you go into that scene without some warning.’
