“Well?”his mother said, exasperated.
“Well, what?You called me,” he said.
“Remington,” she said.“After the way you treated me on the anniversary of Emerson’s death, hanging up on me like that, you owe me a huge apology.The way you spoke to me was out of line.”
“No,” Remi said.“The way you spoke to me was out of line.Blaming me for Emerson’s death?That was fucked up.You owemean apology, not the other way around.”
He felt himself slip over the edge into the familiar anger of his childhood.Most of it was toxic and tinged with bitter hopelessness, but he’d wallpapered over all of those memories and feelings in some doomed attempt to honor his brother’s memory.
She sucked in a breath.“You ungrateful piece of shit.I knew your ugly side would rear up again.Is this what fame did to you, Remington?Turning your back on your mother, your only family?What would Emerson think of that?He’d be so disappointed in you.”
Remi took a deep breath as her words hit him in the gut.She always knew just what to say to make him feel horrible.
He had long ago given up the notion that he might ever do anything that would make his mother happy, but he kept trying in memory of his brother because, despite everything, Remi could never turn his back on Emerson.
But Emerson was gone.He was dead and gone.And withstanding his mother’s abusive comments wasn’t going to bring him back.
“You know, Mom,” Remi said.“I don’t really know if Emerson would be disappointed in me.I don’t know if he’d be proud of me either.I hope he would be, but I don’t know because I didn’t really know him.Not really.And I’ll never get to know him either because he’s gone.”
“You always hated him,” she said.“You were always jealous.He was such a good, smart boy.He hated you for the way you treated me—”
“We hated each other because you made sure we hated each other!”Remi said.“You played us off one another.We hated each other because you manipulated us into it.Because you wanted the power to control us both.”
“Oh, please, Remington,” she said.“You’re going to make me the bad guy?Do you know how much I sacrificed for you?Every dime I’ve ever made went to raising you.I bought you that guitar.Those microphones.I let you play your racket in the garage.”
“No,” Remi said.“I bought my microphone and amps, and Aunt Joanne bought me my first guitar.You didn’t do anything other than yell at us every time we played thatracket.”
She huffed.“You’re so ungrateful.I put a roof over your head, didn’t I?You think I have savings?You think I have anything?My kids took it all from me.And for what?To be treated like I’m the monster?Oh yeah, I’m a horrible mother.A horrible mother who gave you a home and kept food in the fridge.”
“I didn’t fucking ask to be born!”Remi screamed into his phone.“If you didn’t want us, you shouldn’t have gotten knocked up.”
She was crying now, sobbing, and it almost made Remi feel bad for yelling—almost—but he remembered this was what she did.She made everyone feel sorry for her.“You’re so cruel to your mother.What did I do to deserve such a hateful child?”
“You were a shitty mom,” Remi said.“Don’t call me again.I’m cutting you out of my life.Don’t text me asking for money.Don’t message me on social media.I’m done.I’m fucking done with you.”
“Remington!You’ll regret—”
He hung up the phone, scrolled to his contact list, and blocked her phone number.He went to all of his social media accounts and blocked his mom from every single one of them.
A huge breath whooshed out of his lungs when he was done.He should have done this years ago, but he’d held on to some fucked-up sense of duty to Emerson.Like if he just took her calls, listened to her complaints, withstood her verbal attacks, maybe that would atone for how he acted growing up.Like maybe then he’d finally know what Emerson would have told him if he’d made it to the cabin the day he died.
Remi sat on the bed and sighed.A chill skated down his back as he looked around the room.
“I’m sorry, Em,” he said.“I really don’t know if you’d be disappointed or proud.Don’t know if you’d be yelling at me right now.Don’t know if this is the right decision.”He exhaled, and some tension released from his body.“But I can’t do it anymore.I should have stood up to her and cut her out of my life while you were still alive.We should have escaped that fucking house together.I’m sorry we didn’t.”
He released another breath, and something lifted from his shoulders.Maybe Emerson was there with him.Or maybe, like when West had hallucinated him while on acid, Remi just wanted him there so much he convinced himself he felt him.
But either way, it didn’t matter.Emerson was gone, and Remi was still here.And he wasn’t going to let anyone treat him or his true family—his bandmates—like shit anymore.
Remi walked out of the back room, feeling lighter.Rebellious energy bubbled through him.
Liam was on the couch, tapping out a beat on his thighs.His hairy legs were shown off in his plaid skirt, and he’d switched out the laces of his combat boots to bright pink.
West’s shoulder-length hair was pulled up high in a ponytail, and he had long, dangly earrings in both of his ears.The bedazzled crop top showed off his belly button piercing.
Skye was painting Ollie’s nails a bright neon blue at the table.Ollie still wore his usual beanie, but Skye must have bought him a new one since this one was lilac purple with a big butterfly in the middle, matching the purple in his plaid skirt.
“Hey,” West said as he cracked open a soda.“You good?I heard some yelling back there.”
