He pursed his lips.“It’s like they all forgot concert etiquette.What’s the point of coming to a concert anyway?Let’s be honest, it’s not like the sound quality is better than sitting in your room listening on your headphones.We go to concerts so we can get high on the feeling of being one cohesive group.When your mind and body sync up with the people around you because everyone is moving together, singing the same words together.It’s like a religious experience.It’s church for people who can’t get behind a vengeful god who makes rules that say who you are and who you love make you a sinner.”
Skye took a deep breath and sighed it out.“I literally never wish Jillian was around, but damn do I wish she was filming that.”
Remi’s eyes slid over to her.“Sorry.I got on a soapbox, didn’t I?”
“I liked it,” Skye said.She might not have an emotional barometer for the differences between right and wrong, but she respected that Remi always stood for something.That his passion manifested as rebellion against the humans who tried to dictate the way the rest of them should live.Something only outsiders, outcasts, misfits could truly understand and appreciate.Maybe that was why she was drawn to Remi and his band in the first place.“My mom used to say that people only get in to music for one reason: either the fame or the music, and the people who are in it for the music are always way more interesting.”
Remi winced and rubbed the back of his neck.“I don’t think she’d have liked me then.I’m kind of obsessed with checking our social media followers.I know it’s bad, but it’s like I can’t stop.I don’t actually care about being famous, but it feels like I have to be worried about it or I won’t get to a place where I can care only about the music.”
“Very few people ever get there,” Skye said.“Being successful in any artistic field means you have to be equal parts ego-driven and creation-minded.Navigating the tightrope between self-absorption and knowing what you’re making is bigger than you is part of why not everyone can do what you do, Remi.The people who are only in it for the fame actually have an easier time succeeding.They create half-baked music, say their lines, write their boilerplate novels, mass produce their paintings—all the while they’re dead behind the eyes.The struggle you’re having is proof that you care, that what you’re doing matters, and that’s what people will respond to.Trust me.I’ve seen it.I’ve made a lot of bargains with people who only want the fame.”
The corners of Remi’s eyes turned down, and he blew out a long breath.“Shit, Skye.That was—fuck.Thank you.I really needed to hear that.”
Skye lifted her chin.A warm pride spread through her chest.“You focus on the music, Remi.I’ll focus on the tour, okay?”
He grinned and nodded.
They stared at each other for a second, just smiling, and then some people got between them.Remi grabbed her hand and tugged her out of the flow of traffic.
As they walked toward the next stage, Remi didn’t drop her hand.Skye fought the butterflies rioting in her stomach.
They spent the day that way, walking to each stage, drinking beer, watching people body slam themselves into one another.They regrouped with Liam and Ollie midway through to eat at one of the stands and smoke weed.West had gone back to the hotel to get some rest.
No matter where Remi and Skye went, some part of them was always touching.Remi’s hand around hers, or Skye leaning into his chest, or slipping their arms around one another.She couldn’t believe how easy it was, how right it felt.They talked about their favorite bands and the music they grew up listening to.Skye shared the stories her mother had told her about making bargains with rock stars in the seventies and eighties, and Remi told her about Tilted Haze’s first gig when he and West were seniors in high school.
As the sky darkened, there were still plenty of shows to see, but they all drove back in the rental car to the hotel so they could rest up for tomorrow.
Remi reached a hand over from the steering wheel to fill in the spaces between her fingers with his long, tattooed ones.Bittersweet music played on the radio, matching the confusing, unfamiliar sensations roiling in her stomach, but Skye cataloged the memory, burned it into her retinas because the tour would end soon enough and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever experience anything like this again.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Remiwasdesperatetokiss Skye again after the one they’d shared in the back of the tour bus.His face was still sore from the beating, and his eye was turning a disgusting yellow shade, but he didn’t care.
He wanted her under his tongue, under his fingers, his lips against her skin.They’d walked into the hotel together, stopping outside his room as he fished out his key card, but Jillian swung open the door from inside.
“Finally!”She was the definition of glaring daggers at him.“Where have you been?I’ve been texting you.”
“Phone died,” he said, not knowing if it was a lie or not.He hadn’t checked it all day, so it was a safe bet it was dead.He’d forgotten that Jillian was staying in his hotel room.
He was wondering what excuse he could come up with to go to Skye’s room instead when Jillian said, “We need to film, like, a million things if you want your fans to show up tomorrow.So come on,” she said, yanking him into the room.
He turned back, but Skye just smirked and waved to him, mouthing “Good luck.”Even her horseshoe septum piercing seemed to be smirking at him in the low light of the hotel hallway.
Cheeky.
The next morning, Remi had to admit that Jillian had done a good job getting the word out.He’d seen quite a few Tilted Haze t-shirts in the crowd as he walked through the festival before their set.
It should have made him feel better that there were fans in the sea of people in front of their stage, but a restlessness stirred inside him as he peered out.Remi couldn’t remember the last time he had stage fright.The first show they ever played at a high school cabin party, maybe, or the first gig they ever had at Mike’s.
In the beginning, when Tilted Haze was unknown and they opened for bands where the fans had only been there to see the main act, Remi looked at the indifferent stares from the crowd as a fun challenge.He’d pick someone in the crowd and sing just for them, get fired up just for them.Force them to feel the music as much as he did.But performing as a headliner for the last few months might have made him a little cocky.He’d forgotten how hard it was to win a crowd over and shift their energy.The people out there seemed to buzz with agitation, almost like contempt, but Remi couldn’t put a finger on why he felt that way.
He walked to his bandmates and saw the same apprehension he was feeling in their eyes.Skye and Jillian hovered near them.
Jillian turned her phone screen toward Remi.“People have come out just to see you.”It was a tagged social media photo of five people in Tilted Haze t-shirts smiling in front of a Metalfest sign.
Remi took a deep breath and nodded.There were Tilted Haze fans out there.That’s who he was playing for.
Standing across from Ollie, Remi grabbed Liam’s and West’s shoulders and pulled them into a huddle.“Alright, guys.What was the first song West forced us to learn to play because he’d spent forever practicing the solo?”
