He ripped open the door to the outside and sucked in a huge breath as soon as he was in the night air.
“Freedom!” he shouted, arms raised in victory.
“Damon?”
Elliot sat on the half brick wall that separated the back of the school from the parking lot. His brows pulled together in confusion.
“Elliot,” Damon exclaimed. “I basically just broke out of prison for you!”
Elliot’s confusion warred with amusement, and he huffed like he was about to laugh but caught himself. “Go back in. I’m fine. I just need to think.”
Damon hopped up on the wall and took a seat beside him. “I can think with you.”
“No. I need to be alone.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t think about what I need to think about with you sitting next to me,” Elliot said, refusing to look at Damon.
“Why not?”
He blew out a breath through pursed lips. “Because I’m thinking about you, idiot.”
Damon’s heartbeat hadn’t recovered from his jailbreak and took off at a new speed. The toxic pleasure of pride swelled in his chest. Damon tilted his head to the side and put his face in front of Elliot’s, forcing him to look at him. “Good thoughts, right?”
Elliot’s expression twisted into hisI’m trying to be sternface, but it was undercut by the twitch at the corner of his lips. He exhaled heavily and jumped off the wall.
“Come on, Elliot,” Damon said. “Whatever you need to think about. Just think out loud. I promise I won’t interrupt.”
Elliot took a deep breath, and with his back to Damon, he said, “I’m gay.”
Damon nodded but kept his word and said nothing.
“And that means that I like guys.”
Damon’s lips pursed, his eyes narrowing. Elliot was the smartest person he knew, and if these were his thoughts…they were kinda dumb.
“And that means that I want to touch guys. I want to kiss them. I want to hold them and dance with them. I want them to look at me and tell me I’m beautiful and perfect. That they love me and that they will always be there for me.”
Damon chewed on his lip. It was becoming really hard not to interrupt. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want Elliot to likeguys. He wanted Elliot to likehim.
“I wish I’d never told you I was gay,” Elliot said. “Because you wouldn’t have wrestled with me and got hard and realized you were bi.”
Damon really wished Elliot would turn around.
“Because it kills me that I’m gay,” Elliot continued. “And you’re bi. And we’re best friends, and what happened between us didn’t mean anything to you—”
Damon slid off the wall. “It did,” he interrupted.
Elliot threw his hands up and turned around. “Well, okay, anything more than your bi awakening or whatever. But it meant a lot more than that to me and—”
“No, Elliot. It meant something to me too.” Damon walked toward him but halted an arm’s length away as terror flooded his best friend’s eyes again, just like on the dance floor. Damon’s next words were a gentle, pleading whisper, “You mean something to me. You’re my best friend.”
Elliot cringed. “I know. I know.”
“And I love you.”
He sighed. “I know. I know you do. I just... We can’t keep kissing and doing things. Dancing and touching. I’m getting confused, and I don’t know how to be your friend now.”
