For a second, it took my brain a moment to catch up to Granger’s words, and I blinked at him blankly as he waited.
“His contract?” I finally managed.
He nodded slowly, taking his hat off to run a hand through his permanently unruly hair. “It ends in the next few months, so if you’re wanting to take him on for something more permanent, that’d be nice to know. Otherwise, we’re going to have to consider finding a replacement.”
“Replacement?” I nearly croaked, dread tiptoeing along my nerves like a spider in its web. Jackson had always been vocal from the moment he arrived that he wanted to stay here at Juniper Grove, so why the fuck was Granger asking about a replacement for him? “Has he said something to you?”
Granger shook his head quickly. “No, he hasn’t said anything. I know y’all are together, but work is work, and I just wanted to be prepared. We managed without Raleigh for a long time, but it was a lot for everyone. With Jackson in the picture, the workload has been more evenly distributed, and the guys have been able to actually take time away from the farm to do the things they need. Weston is planning on getting surgery at the end of the year to help with his snoring, and Dudd wants to spend more time with his daughter since she’s going to start middle school. Mack is considering starting some online classes in the fall. So all that say, if we don’t renew his contract, we’d need to hire someone else.”
“No.” The word fell from my lips almost immediately after Granger stopped talking, the thought of Jackson leaving and someoneelse taking his place was too much for me to put any real thought into. “We don’t need to hire anyone else. I’ll get something drawn up for a permanent position. Just… give me a few days to get through Dad’s retirement party and some of the covers.”
His shoulders relaxed at my words, and he let out a relieved breath. “That’s good to hear.”
“What’s going on, Granger? Where did this come from?”
He glanced away, licking at his teeth before he responded. “He’s been a little off, is all. But that could be for a number of reasons. I just…” Granger let out a small sigh. “If there was something going on with y’all, I didn’t want you to be bottling it up and letting it get to you.”
My stomach plummeted at his words. Things hadn’t exactly been easy on the farm here recently, and Jackson had been there for me through both the good and bad of it. He’d been a rock and safe place in the storm of changes. But somethinghadbeen off. I’d thought his smile seemed a little too hollow around the edges, and more than once I’d caught him staring with a far-off look in eyes, but I’d brushed it off. Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who’d noticed it, though.
“Things are good with y’all, right?” Granger asked slowly.
Immediately my brain took me back to the evening Jackson had shown me his tattoo, walking him out to his truck after the intense connection we’d shared and watching the pain stain over every bright light in his features. I’d tried like hell to kiss it away, but it hadn’t been enough.
Everything had happened so quickly—one minute he was showing me the permanent claim he’d etched into his skin, the next I’d been on my knees for him. But I also knew deep down it never would have progressed that way if we’d gone to the bedroom.
How could I bring the man I was falling for back to a bed I still woke up in expecting to see Raleigh’s face in the morning? It wasn’t fair to anyone, least of all Jackson. And maybe I should have explained it, but it’d seemed like he’d understood without me havingto spell anything out, and I’d needed that easy way out when I’d been so emotionally split open afterward.
I’d been honest when I said I didn’t regret taking that step with Jackson. The sex had been fucking incredible, and there hadn’t been a single moment where guilt had snagged at my heart or I’d had to bring myself back to the present. I’d been there with Jackson, one hundred percent through, and it felt fucking liberating.
But that didn’t mean that the connection we’d shared hadn’t been one of the more vulnerable moments of my life. That whole experience had been altering in a way I couldn’t properly describe. It’d been like a shroud had been pulled from my eyes, and now the world was back in stark, blinding clarity again. It was jarring and wonderful and more than I could have ever imagined. Colors felt brighter, more vibrant, and after I’d had time to really process everything, Jackson felt like a drug I couldn’t stop going back for. Every time we’d been in proximity within the last few days, that same connection popped and sizzled inside of me. But Jackson had seemed just as enthusiastic for it, hadn’t he?
“I thought so,” I said truthfully. “But maybe I should talk with him.”
Granger bobbed his head up and down. “I think that’d be a good idea.”
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I checked the time before asking, “Where is he at today?” It was just a little after ten in the morning.
“He’s tending to the front pastures the bachelor herd uses. I imagine he’ll come in for lunch since he won’t be too far out.”
I chewed my lower lip, trying to decide my next move. Would it be better to talk once he was back for lunch and risk having the conversation cut short for work or could I wait until later? We’d have more time to speak after dinner, even if I would have to deal with the sinking feeling in my gut till then. Mind made up, I let out a low sigh.
“Thanks for coming to me. I’ll talk with him tonight,” I told Granger, and he took that as the signal it was, standing from his chair.
“Like I told you, I’m behind you one hundred percent.”
Giving him a grunt that I hoped sounded grateful, I turned back to the expense reports as he slipped from the room.
The rest of the day seemed to drag on just as slowly as I feared it would, and by the time I was making my way to the farmhouse for dinner, it felt like ants were crawling under my skin. What was going on with Jackson? Despite my best efforts, my mind had been dragged back to that question over and over again throughout the day, and the answers it supplied hadn’t been reassuring at all.
Jackson was young. He’d lived most of his life without one place to call his own, and maybe he thought settling down was what he wanted, but what if he was wrong? Did he not want to stay at Juniper Grove anymore? Or was it something with me?
It was driving me up the wall, having all these questions with no answers from the only person whose responses mattered, and I was damn close to pulling Jackson aside before dinner just to hash things out.
But I knew better. I was a grown man who could wait until we’d all shared a meal before injecting my personal matters into things. Even if I’d placed my hand on his thigh more than once throughout the night, just to have some comfort that he’d still let me.
When dinner was concluded, I managed to snag Jackson before he swept off into the kitchen to help clean up.
“Come by my place after?” I asked, hoping the small layer of pleading I heard in my own voice wasn’t that noticeable. It was probably my imagination that he paused for a few seconds before he gave me a small smile and nod.
