‘Listening to all the podcasts in the world couldn’t save me from the monotony of that trip.’ She shuddered. ‘Driving is so much better and faster.’
‘You’re here now, and that’s the main thing. You can put your feet up and let me feed you.’ He’d never seen his mother so pale, and while he rarely thought of her as old, she looked exhausted.
‘I’m not an invalid, Cruz. I can take over the admin side of things again while you focus on the restaurant.’
‘That would be a huge help. Thanks.’
‘What else are mums for?’ She smiled, but an emotion he couldn’t identify shifted in her eyes as she sipped her juice.
‘Is everything okay, Mum?’
‘Why do you ask?’ She lowered her glass, having only drunk a quarter when she’d usually finish the juice in a few gulps.
‘You look tired.’
She waggled a finger at him. ‘Never tell a woman that.’
‘I’m not a complete moron.’ He bet El would beg to differ. ‘What’s really going on? Because while I appreciate you coming back to help me, you couldn’t get away from this place fast enough. What’s changed?’
Her eyes lowered to stare at her juice, and when she raised them again to meet his, he glimpsed determination tinged with fear.
‘I want to talk to you about your father.’
‘Next topic, please.’
‘I’m being serious. I hate that I didn’t tell you the truth when I discovered it, and that I left here in a hurry.’ She shook her head. ‘I should’ve told you everything before heading to the city, and I’m so mad that you found out from Roger and not me.’
‘It’s okay. To be honest, it’s the furthest thing from my mind. I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to dwell.’ He snapped his fingers. ‘By the way, your friend Taj hooked me up with his cousin in India as a possible export opportunity, and it could be really lucrative, so thanks for that.’
‘You heard from Taj?’
‘Yeah, sounds like a nice guy. Said he was an old friend of yours and you ran into each other in Melbourne.’
‘That’s true,’ she said, ‘and I’d usually leave it at that, but I also came back here to confront old demons, so in the interest of that, I’ll tell you about Taj.’
Realisation hit. Was Taj an old flame? While Cruz had little interest in hearing about his mum’s past boyfriends, the longer Ferne talked about herself, the more chance he had of dodging any questions about El. They would come, and it showed exactly how off her game his mum was that she hadn’t asked already.
She took his silence as approval. ‘Taj was my first love, first boyfriend, first real relationship, first man I lived with. He had wanderlust in his blood and survived by doing odd jobs, so after eighteen months, I wanted more, and I dumped him.’ Her face screwed up. ‘I spent the next decade dating sporadically, but no man lived up to Taj. When I met your father in my late thirties, I wanted a child, so I settled.’
Cruz couldn’t hide his shocked expression as she rushed on, ‘Please don’t feel like I’m blaming you for sticking by Mac. I wanted you with every fibre of my being, and you were my world. Your father being a shitty husband had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him hiding his sexuality, as we both now know. Then ten years ago, not long after you left, Taj turned up here as a picker.’
Uh-oh. If his mum was about to confess a sordid affair, he’d change the subject.
‘Nothing happened between us beyond a kiss, but he asked me to leave with him and I chose to stay.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I was scared to give up my cushy life to follow a nomad.’ The corners of her mouth drooped. ‘Turns out, the joke’s on me, as Taj invested wisely over the years and is richer than me ten times over. But it wasn’t just about the money. I figured your father might punish me by hurting you, and the only way he could do that was by disinheriting you.’
Appalled that she’d given up a chance at real happiness because of him, Cruz said, ‘That’s a massive sacrifice to make, Mum, and I can’t help but feel guilty you stuck with Dad because of me.’
‘Please don’t feel guilty. I made my choice and I’d do it again. But I wanted you to know, because I’m done hiding things from you. From now on, it’s full transparency, and that’s why I told you about Taj, because he recently asked me to move in with him.’
Worried by his mum’s speed in moving on, he said, ‘That’s fast.’
‘Which is why I said no.’
His relief was short-lived when Ferne added, ‘But I’m re-evaluating that stance. I said some awful things to Taj, so I’m not sure if he’ll even want me back, but I’d like to try to make a go of a relationship because I’m seventy and deserve some happiness in what’s left of my life.’
