Bliss’s eyes cut toward her. “Charm.”
“What? I’m furious and concerned. My filter is on medical leave.”
Despite myself, my mouth twitched.
Then it fell apart.
“He told me he would give me anything except forgiveness,” I said, and the words scraped on the way out. “That’s what I wanted. After all of it, after finally telling him about Darian and the video and the date rape, after telling him I loved him, that’s what I wanted. I wanted him to forgive me.”
Bliss’s eyes filled again. “Oh, Ay.”
“He didn’t say it to punish me.” I wiped beneath my nose with the back of my wrist, then made a face because I was still apparently capable of vanity during emotional collapse. Charm immediately handed me a tissue from somewhere inside her cardigan like a sad fairy godmother. “He meant it. He loves me. He said he still loves me, and he was so angry it didn’t even feel clean anymore.”
Charm’s face tightened like the line had cut her too.
“He said he had love and anger and no forgiveness.” I stared down at the tissue in my hand. “So we ended it. As clean as Easton and I can end anything, I guess.”
Bliss shook her head quickly. “That doesn’t sound clean.”
“It wasn’t. It was just quiet at the end.”
The three of us stood in the rain beside my car, holding a silence too large for the parking lot. Somewhere inside the building, a baby cried through thin walls. A car passed along the street behind us, tires slicing through water, headlights sliding across Charm’s face before disappearing.
Charm spoke first. “So you told him?”
I knew what she meant, and my chest pulled tight.
“Enough.”
Bliss’s fingers tightened around mine. “Enough as in Darian, or enough as in the truth?”
I looked at her.
She didn’t look away. Neither did Charm.
That was the difference that night. They weren’t reaching for the lock. They were standing beside the door and letting me decide whether it opened.
“I told him about Darian and the video, about Maddox, Iver, and Jerod, and enough of what all four of them did for him to understand why the rules existed before he ever touched me.”
Charm’s eyes glistened. “Did you tell him why nothing happened to them?”
“No.” I rubbed the tissue between my fingers until it started to shred. “Not every detail. We were already angry, and he was bleeding and furious. Handing him every piece of me while he looked ready to tear the world open wouldn’t have helped. I told him enough to understand that the video made me visible while the men who raped me kept moving through life untouched.”
Bliss pressed one hand to her mouth.
Charm’s chin trembled once before she lifted it. “That’s enough for tonight.”
“I think so.” My laugh came out quiet and ruined. “He looked like he wanted to tear the world apart.”
“He did that at The Sin Bin,” Bliss said, then winced. “Sorry. Bad timing.”
“No.” I shook my head. “That’s part of why I told him to stop making that face. I didn’t want to become another reason he destroyed himself.”
Charm looked toward the building again. “That boy has been destroying himself with or without your permission.”
“I know.”
Bliss’s voice softened. “Did you tell him you loved him?”
