She walked into the house, and the silence felt oppressive.
Jack called the next afternoon, his voice tight with exhaustion. “Hey, family time was good, but the kids ran me ragged. Plus, Mom tried to feed me until I burst. Can I come over in a little bit?”
“Sure. Of course.” Rachel didn’t even try to keep the excitement from her voice. “As soon as you can.”
“You're the best, Rach.”
He arrived twenty minutes later, looking worn and rumpled in jeans and a Baytown HS T-shirt. But when Rachel opened the door, the tension she’d noticed the previous day seemed to ease.
“Come here,” he said, pulling her into his arms right there in the doorway.
They stood for a long time, just holding each other. Then Jack pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. “I'm sorry. This weekend has been crazy.”
“It's okay. You needed to be with your family.”
“I needed to be with you too.” His thumb brushed her cheek.
They settled on the couch in the quiet living room, Rachel tucked against Jack's side. He told her about the Academy, about the baseball season ending with a tough playoff loss, and about his summer training schedule, on top of all his other classes and the demands of being a cadet. She told him about her classes, about the job she'd picked up at the coffee shop, and about Cindy's plans for them to be roommates when Rachel transfers to ODU after she earns her associate degree at the community college.
“Damn, you and Cindy together at ODU.” He chuckled, but the mirth didn’t reach his eyes. “That’ll be a whole new experience.”
Underneath the humor, Rachel sensed something shifting. Some unspoken weight that Jack carried. “Jack, you know that I want to teach. Well, if I stay in college for a fifth year, I can earn my master’s degree.”
“Another year?”
She felt his surprise, then he hugged her.
“Honestly, Rach, that’s so good for you. I know it’s another year apart, but that will set you up for teaching, and that’s what you need to do.”
“Well, that’s not all. I was considering not going to ODU. I thought I would look into a college near the Academy. That would make it easier for us to see each other.”
Jack said nothing, and she felt a chill run through her veins. She expected excitement, not silence.
“Rach, we need to talk.”
She was suddenly cold despite the warmth of the room. “About what?”
Conflict was written across his face, and her stomach dropped.
“About us,” he murmured. “About how hard this has been.”
She stared, no words coming as she waited to see what else he would say.
“I think we might need a break.”
She tried to breathe, but it was as though the oxygen had been sucked from the room. Her body shivered.
“Not forever.” Jack rushed, desperation pouring out in the words. “Just... this is so hard. The distance, the schedule, trying to maintain this when we barely see each other. There’s no summer break. I thought it would get easier, but it's not. And I think it might be less pressure on both of us if we have one less thing to focus on.”
Her chest constricted. “One less thing?” she whispered hoarsely. “That's what I am to you? A thing?”
“No. God, no.” He reached for her hands, holding tightly as agony crossed his expression. “You're everything to me. But I can barely keep up with my own life right now, and I hate that I'm not giving you what you deserve. You should be having fun with your friends, not waiting around for me to have a free weekend. Maybe… shit… maybe even date other people.” His face scrunched as though the words caused him physical pain.
“I don't want to date other people.” Rachel's voice came out small, broken. “I just want you.”
“I want you too.” Jack's expression crumpled. “I don’t want you not to go to ODU. If I get stationed at Norfolk and you’re not at ODU, then we’d be separated again. And if I don’t get assigned to Norfolk, then we’ll be separated by a much larger distance until you finish your master’s.” He gulped as though the air was hard to drag into his lungs, but he kept going. “Maybe we need some space to figure out who we are separately. And then when we graduate, when things are less crazy, we can?—”
“Don't.” Rachel stood, wrapping her arms around herself. “Don't make promises about someday while you're breaking up with me now.”
