Mam nodded. ‘If it’s hard to say it, why don’t you show it?’
‘Mam! Planting a kiss on him the moment he opens the door would be even worse.’
She laughed. ‘I probably should have explained that better. I was thinking of you taking some cakes up to him. I made some more butterfly cakes this morning. He didn’t want any after he met Laurie but you could take them to him now with the message that you and Laurie are properly over. I’ve got some pink chocolate hearts you can add to them. Let the cakes do the talking.’
I grinned at her. ‘That’s genius. And now I’m ridiculously nervous.’
‘Because you care,’ Jude said. ‘And I can tell he does too. He’s your fresh start, Grace. Make it happen!’
47
In the café, I selected four butterfly cakes and pushed pink chocolate hearts into the buttercream between the wings before securing them inside a cake box.
I was actually shaking with nerves as I approached Peartree Cottage, the reality of what I was about to say and hopefully do feeling overwhelming. The last time I’d told a man how I felt about them, I’d been an eighteen-year-old student back at university after the Christmas holidays with a crush on one of my best friends. I’d trusted him with my heart and he’d looked after it for a long time but, twenty-seven and a half years down the line, it was time to trust my heart with someone new.
Caleb smiled the moment I opened the door. The butterflies did a loop-the-loop in my stomach but the shaking thankfully subsided.
‘Long time no see,’ he said, his eyes twinkling.
‘I brought you something.’ I handed him the cake box.
‘Do you want to come in?’
‘Okay… Actually, no. Would you mind if we go for a walk instead?’
‘Sure. Do I bring the gift with me?’
I shook my head. ‘You can leave it here but can you open it first? There’s something I want to talk to you about and the gift’s kind of relevant.’
‘She says mysteriously,’ he teased as he opened the lid. ‘Butterfly cakes! My favourites!’
‘I heard you didn’t pick any up yesterday so I thought I’d bring you some. I chose those ones especially.’
He looked down at them again, his smile widening, but he didn’t say anything.
‘I’ll put these in the kitchen. Give me a second.’
This time he didn’t close the door on me.
We left the cottage moments later and I led him round the back of the forge as I knew Mam, Maddie and Jude would be watching us out of the window if we headed down the slope. We walked in companionable silence while I searched for a conversation opener, my courage evading me.
By the time we’d reached the entrance to Barn View, I’d finally found one. It was perhaps a little unfair of me but I’d already dropped a huge hint to my feelings with the hearts on the cakes and I wanted him to give me something in return before I rushed ahead and made a fool of myself.
‘Can I ask why you didn’t collect the butterfly cakes yesterday?’ I asked as we stopped and rested against the gate, looking out over the farm.
‘Good question. I told you I love butterfly cakes because they remind me of my grandma, so they’re all about happy thoughts for me. After Laurie turned up, my thoughts weren’t quite so happy. Do you want to know why?’
‘I’d love to.’
‘Because I really, really like you, Grace, and I only realised quite how much when you hugged me. And then Laurie appeared and introduced himself as your husband and I didn’t know what to do about that. I knew from our previous chatsthat you were confused about why things ended and I wondered whether he might have finally decided to explain things. I also wondered whether his explanation could pave the way to a reconciliation so I thought I’d better give you some space. Suddenly my appetite for butterfly cakes had gone.’
‘He had no right to call himself my husband,’ I said. ‘I made it very clear how unimpressed I was at that. I wasn’t expecting to see him yesterday. He turned up uninvited but I’m glad he did because, even though there was nothing he could possibly have said to make me want to try again, I finally found out why he left and I got the closure I needed – the closure I asked the farm for.’
Caleb smiled at me. ‘You asked and the farm delivered.’
I nodded. ‘I’m sorry if him turning up was hard for you. It was a difficult day yesterday for all of us but essential for moving on. And speaking of moving on…’ I took a deep breath. ‘I like you too. A lot.’
Caleb’s smile widened. ‘Yesterday, I was about to ask you if you wanted to go out for drinks or a meal with me at some point. And then Laurie spoke.’
