‘I can try.’
I took a final gulp on my drink. ‘I need to get back to work now. You can stay here for a bit and make yourself another cuppa if you want. There’s food in the fridge if you want a sandwich. Do you want me to send Maddie over?’
‘Do you think she’ll want to see me? She didn’t look too happy when I showed up earlier.’
‘She was probably shocked to see you, like I was. I’m not going to demand that she sees you if she doesn’t want to. We’ve had a lot of issues of our own to deal with and we’ve only just found a way through the other side so I’m not willing to do anything to jeopardise that.’
‘What issues?’
‘That’s between Maddie and me, although how you handled things made it all so much worse. I’ll encourage her to see you, but I won’t push. You didn’t just walk out on me, Laurie. You walked out on her too and, if you want to be in her life, you have a hell of a lot of making up to do.’
‘Idowant to be in her life.’
‘Then you know what you have to do.’
‘I want to be in your life too. I thought we might be able to find our way back to being friends again.’
‘Really? After everything you’ve done?’
‘I know it’s a big ask…’
I nodded. ‘A huge one. You shut me out, Laurie. You stopped treating me as a friend and started treating me as the enemy and it hurt like hell. I’m sorry about Ade and the fallout from that but I loved him too and we could have grieved together. You broke my trust and my heart and you took away our forever. I don’t know if there’s a way through that.’
He nodded. ‘That’s fair. I’m sorry.’
‘Please do take my advice. Get some professional help and move on.’ I headed towards the door.
‘Is that what you’ve done?’ he called. ‘Move on?’
I swept my hands out, taking in the kitchen and the world outside. ‘Literally and that was on you too. Had to sell up and ship out.’
‘That’s not what I mean. The man you were hugging earlier. Have you moved on with him?’
‘Laurence Coates, you have no right whatsoever to ask me that. You wanted out, you got out. What I do next – or who I do next – is none of your business. Got it?’
He at least had the decency to look shamefaced. I shook my head at him and left. This time it was my turn to walk away.
45
As I left the farmhouse, I glanced up at Peartree Cottage and my heart sank. Caleb’s van had gone. I hoped he’d be back soon so I could make it clear that Laurie turning up today did not mean I was about to reconcile with him. I only wanted to look forward from now on. How dare Laurie introduce himself to Caleb as my husband? How dare he ask if I’d moved on with him? That was none of his business. Jealousy didn’t look good on him and he had no right to act that way when he was the one who’d destroyed our marriage.
I needed to tell Maddie that her dad wanted to speak to her, but I also needed some time away from our visitors to process what I’d learned about Adrian. While I was glad I’d heard it for myself, I was certain his last phone message would play on a loop in my mind for a long time.
‘Hi, sunshine,’ Mam said when she answered her phone. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I will be. I finally know what went wrong and I’ll tell you about it later, but I need a bit of time on my own to process it. Would you mind?’
‘You take all the time you need. Jude’s just popped in to get a drink so I’ll ask her to hold the fort outside.’
Mam said she and Willow could manage the café so Maddie could spend some time with her dad. I waited near the farmhouse for her.
‘Nanna says you’ve got answers,’ Maddie said as she approached me a couple of minutes later.
‘Finally, yes, and I’ve got you to thank for that. Your dad played me your voice note.’
‘Are you mad with me for having a go at him?’ she asked.
‘Not at all. I’m glad you did it. It was a passionate message and I wanted to start waving a flag and cheering. Thanks for standing up for me like that. If you hadn’t done that quite so forcibly, I’d never have got the answers I needed.’
