I smiled at him. ‘I’m flattered, but it was university. We were friends from day one and became an item at the start of our second term.’
‘When did you split up?’
‘November last year.’
‘And did you do your grieving?’
‘Yes. Lots of tears and sleepless nights. Being here has been good for me but I still have my moments.’
‘You miss him?’
‘You know, I’m not sure I do. I don’t find myself thinkingI can’t wait for Laurie to see thatorI must tell Laurie thatlike I used to because I think we lost that part of us quite some timeago. I didn’t realise there was anything wrong at the time but I think we were in a rut, drifting from one day to the next and not putting any effort into us.’
‘Could that be the reason why it ended?’
I shook my head. ‘He was adamant it was about him and not me and…’ I shrugged. ‘It’s over and I’m not upset about that anymore. It feels like this is where I was always meant to be – like I’ve come home – and I don’t see a Laurie-shaped space here. Nothing about Hazelwick Farm is him. It’s completely and unashamedly me.’ I smiled as I realised I’d repeated the words Mam had said about starting over with a fresh vision for the farm.
‘It’s completely and unashamedly me too,’ he said, nudging his arm against mine. ‘And it’s felt even more like that since you arrived.’
His eyes seemed to be burning into mine and it did all sorts of funny things to my insides. I’d thought he was good-looking the moment I met him but, gazing at him now in the pinkish light of the approaching sunset, Caleb Nash was absolutely gorgeous. All I wanted to do was take a step closer and press my lips against his. There was something so masculine about how he looked but there was a vulnerability in the way he spoke and reacted, unable to hide his feelings, wearing his heart on his sleeve and it had me entranced. What was going through Caleb’s mind? What did he mean by that comment?It’s felt even more like that since you arrived.
‘Last spring – before Elenna’s promotion – we had Adam and Shelley over for a barbeque,’ Caleb said. ‘We were discussing honeymoon destinations and the conversation moved onto places we’ve been and love. Elenna lived in Thailand for a couple of years in her early twenties and spent a lot of time travelling so most of her favourites were in Asia. Adam’s were in Scotland and on the Northumberland coast. Shelley said she loved anywherewith horses and, even though things were bad between her and her parents, she still loved the farm and would forever think of it as a special place. I said I’d felt that way from my first day in The Dovecote – like the farm gave me a warm hug and told me this was the place to heal.’
His eyes sparkled as he spoke and his voice oozed with warmth. I’d felt that same hug and wanted to share that with him, but I sensed he was working towards a point so I stayed quiet.
He sighed and shook his head. ‘Elenna was looking at me like I’d lost the plot.It’s just a farm, she said and I should have known back then that she was never going to stay. I should have left it there but I’d had a few drinks and I added that I thought the farm was magical. Shelley agreed and we discussed how it might be connected to the trees in the names Hazelwick and Rowanbridge – both trees being known for their magical properties – but Elenna laughed at me and asked me if I was five. Again, a red flag but I didn’t notice it at the time.’
Caleb raked his fingers through his hair, smiling. ‘I’m talking too much. I seem to have a habit of doing that round you. Or I don’t talk at all and push you away and I don’t mean to.’
‘I know that none of those times were about me and I’m glad you feel you can talk to me about your feelings. It’s refreshing. Laurie and I used to chat for hours but it was never about anything deep.’ I shrugged. ‘Funny how you can spot those flags with hindsight but not at the time. And as for what you were saying about the farm being magical, I agree with you. Mam and I are both romantics but we’re really practical when it comes to business – all about the sensible decisions. And then we viewed this place and we both felt such an overwhelming emotional connection to the farm that we had to buy it. I’d never been here before – hadn’t even visited Triple Trees – but I felt like I’d come home, like everything that had happened so far in my life hadbrought me to this place and it would be where I’d heal too. I feel the magic, Mam feels it, Jude does and I’m hoping Maddie will too now that she’s unburdened herself of all the things she’d been bottling up. It’s the fresh start all of us needed – and I include you in that.’
‘I love that,’ Caleb said. ‘Here’s to magical new beginnings for all of us.’
To magical new beginnings indeed. As we smiled at each other, the butterflies in my stomach swooped and soared. Could Caleb be part of mine? The idea was very appealing.
39
We’d been lucky with the weather so far but, on Sunday night, a band of low pressure moved across the north of the country, bringing heavy rain overnight. By the morning, the intensity had eased but there was no sign of the rain stopping.
With Willow no longer working on Monday mornings, Jude offered to help me poo-pick and check on the horses. We donned our waterproofs and ran to the stables to get the equipment out, dodging round puddles. The temperature had dropped but not significantly and there was no wind so, with the horses having coats which naturally repelled water, there’d been no need to have them in the stables overnight.
Seeing as it was my first heavy downpour here, I was curious as to how the pastures would handle the rain but it seemed to be mainly seeping into the ground and, so far, there was no sign of flooding or churned-up mud.
‘Would you mind me coming into Berwick with you this morning?’ Jude asked as we were putting the rakes and wheelbarrow away in the storeroom a bit later. ‘I’ve run out of contact lens solution – thought I’d put a spare bottle in butI haven’t. I can pick some up while you’re collecting Maddie’s paint.’
‘I meant to ask if you wanted to come anyway and have a quick look round the shops. We’ll aim to be there for opening time.’
As we left the stables, my eyes were drawn to the main farm track. A 4x4 pulling a horsebox was heading away from the farm at speed.
‘That’s strange,’ I said, frowning. ‘Wonder what they wanted.’
We set off towards the farmhouse but, as the main gate came into view, I slowed my pace, squinting. Was there something tied to it?
‘No!’ I cried, realising what it was and breaking into a run with Jude hot on my heels.
A chestnut and white Shetland pony was tethered to the gate with an old piece of rope. The gate opened inwards meaning I couldn’t open it without pulling the pony so I clambered over the top and cautiously approached her.
‘Hello, beautiful,’ I said in a calm and gentle voice as I stroked her neck. ‘What are you doing here?’
