Mam was waiting in the hall and, as I descended the last few stairs, I shook my head to indicate that Maddie wasn’t coming. She held her arms out and I gratefully stepped into her embrace. As though knowing I’d just been defending her, Clemmie appeared and weaved around my legs, purring.
Stepping out of Mam’s hold, I picked Clemmie up and kissed her head. ‘I promise I’ll always love you and never call you names,’ I said.
Mam shot me a questioning look.
‘I’ll tell you in the car,’ I said, putting Clemmie back down. ‘The latest instalment in Maddie Does Mardy.’
24
Tea with my family was loud and chaotic and exactly what I needed after the unpleasant exchange with Maddie. It was great to see Nick again and to have more cuddles with my niece and nephew, although I felt embarrassed at making excuses for Maddie’s absence. Hope’s expression always conveyed what she thought and it was obvious that she believed the headache story as much as I did.
I had the honour of reading a bedtime story to Max but Lola’s reading was coming along brilliantly so she read me a story instead, transporting me back to the days when Maddie was her age and had loved to read to me. Books had been a shared passion and, as she progressed into her teens, I’d read many of the YA books she’d enjoyed while introducing her to adult titles I thought she’d like. It was another thing that had gone by the wayside when she befriended Carmen.Books are for boring geeks, she’d told me one day – words which felt like Carmen’s rather than Maddie’s.
After the kids were settled in bed, I found myself longing to stay for several more hours to avoid the hostilities at home but itwasn’t an option. Nick had checks to do round the farm – as did I round ours – and Hope looked tired so Mam and I said goodbye.
‘A lovely evening,’ Mam said as I pulled off the farm track and set off in the direction of home.
‘Yeah, it was. Just what I needed.’
‘You mentioned Maddie putting a stop to your three things chats. I know it’s not quite the same, but do you want to do it with me instead?’
I glanced across at her and smiled. ‘Okay, although it might be hard to think of ones you don’t already know. You go first.’
‘Three things about my day are…’ She pondered for a moment. ‘The first is that I spotted a field mouse this morning near Samson and it made me smile seeing such a tiny creature alongside such a huge one at our new home. We’re very blessed. My second is that young Hunter told me a joke that was so funny I actually snorted when I laughed. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. And my third thing is that I nipped to the loo after we’d had tea to have a little cry because I got all emotional seeing my two beautiful girls back together. I’m so happy you’re here.’
‘Aw, Mam! I’m happy I’m here too. That was a lovely three things. Okay, so mine are that I was looking at some buttercups on one of the verges this morning and I had the strongest childhood memory of Hope and me holding buttercups under each other’s chin to see whether we liked butter.’
It was something all the kids used to do – the strength of the buttercup’s yellow reflection on the skin supposedly indicated the strength of liking for butter.
‘It struck me I’d never seen it reflected on my own skin so I decided to take a selfie but I didn’t want to pick the buttercup so I got on the ground and did some crazy contorting until I got the right angle. And guess who ran past at that moment?’
‘Caleb Nash?’
‘Yep. Goodness knows what he must think of me.’
‘Did you say anything?’
‘I saidmorningas though rolling around on the ground was normal behaviour. He murmuredmorningin return but I swear he quickened his pace.’
‘I agree with you now that he’s a funny bunny, that one. Barely says a word if I see him. I’ve tried to engage him in conversation but he doesn’t seem interested.’
‘Glad it’s not just me. I don’t think he likes us being here but that’s tough cos it’s our home and we’re not going anywhere. Back to my three things, the second is a ladybird landed on me and walked up and down my arm for ages and, even though it pooed on me, it was a magical moment.’
‘Do you still wear your jacket?’ Mam asked.
‘All the time.’
I’d been obsessed with ladybirds when I was younger, Hope’s passion was for caterpillars and we’d both loved butterflies. When I officially left home after graduating, Mam presented Hope and me with denim jackets onto which she’d had a bespoke design embroidered. There was a ladybird on mine, a caterpillar on Hope’s and butterflies on both along with curved vines and flowers. If we stood side by side with Hope on my left, the vines and flowers formed a heart. The design was stunning but the meaning meant the world to me – that we’d have a piece of each other’s heart with us wherever we went. If it was jacket weather, I always reached for my ladybird one.
‘What’s your third thing?’ Mam asked.
‘That I also got a bit emotional over tea. I hadn’t realised quite how much I missed being around you all. I thought about how lucky I am to be part of such a lovely family but also how much Dad would have loved me being back here. I wish he was still here to see it.’
‘So do I, sunshine, but you mustn’t regret not moving back sooner. You had a life down south and you were happy there. That’s all we ever wanted for you.’
* * *
As we approached the farmhouse back at Hazelwick Farm, my stomach lurched.
