‘I don’t remember us ever being like that,’ Hope said after I’d brought her up to speed on Maddie.
‘Mam says we weren’t. In low moments I wonder if it’s my fault and I’m a rubbish parent but I remind myself that we had a really strong relationship until she moved up to the sixth form.’
‘You’re a brilliant mam!’ Hope cried. ‘Don’t you ever doubt that. Mam’s my role model for how it’s done and so are you.’
‘Mam thinks Maddie needs time. I just hope she doesn’t take too long.’
‘If there’s anything I can do, let me know.’
‘Thank you. Prayers for a miracle might be appreciated. Right, let’s go and see how Mam’s getting on amusing your two.’
We returned our mugs to the farmhouse kitchen and I checked Clemmie was safe inside before leaving with Nova and Skye. We found Mam, Lola and Max at Big Field, stroking Hera. Lola was standing on the bars of the gate and Mam had lifted Max up.
‘They’re so big!’ Lola exclaimed as we approached.
‘They are, but they’re gentle giants.’
Duchess joined Hera at the gate, closely followed by Gladys, and Lola shuffled along to stroke them. It was lovely to see my niece and nephew so animated as they engaged with the heavy horses but it tugged on my heartstrings too. I’d have loved to see my own daughter showing some sort of interest.
* * *
Hope, Lola and Max left at half three and Mam and I were in the lounge with Clemmie and the dogs having another cuppa when Maddie appeared looking dishevelled.
‘Where’s Auntie Hope?’ she asked, rubbing her eyes.
‘Been and gone. They were disappointed not to see you.’ I could hear the edge to my voice.
‘Why didn’t you come and get me?’
‘You knew what time they were coming, I shouted you just before they pulled up and you replied to say you’d be down soon. Was that not enough?’
‘I was napping when you shouted and I was going to come down but I must have dozed off again.’
‘You’ve been asleep for all that time?’ I asked, feeling concerned. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine,’ she snapped. ‘Just tired.’
‘How can you be so tired when you do nothing but watch TV all day?’
‘Because I am. All I’ve done for months is pack and revise. Is it really so impossible to think I might be knackered?’ And she flounced out the lounge and stomped up the stairs, slamming her door which made Clemmie jump and Skye whimper.
‘I never thought about that,’ I said to Mam. ‘I’ll give her five minutes to calm down then go up and see her.’
But I got distracted as, on checking my emails, I found one from Lindon with a more detailed version of the logo we’d chosen.
‘How amazing is this?’ I said, enlarging it and passing my phone to Mam.
Our new logo consisted of Apollo’s head poking over a giant horseshoe, the head of a cheeky pygmy goat to one side and a Highland cow on the other, with the name of the farm across the top. Mam and I had decided that I should tell Willow about the cows when I discussed her employment contract with her, which had been just as well as I’d have felt bad if her brother had found out first. They’d both been asked to keep it a secret for now. Willow had been incredibly excited and had already offered to help the cows settle in.
‘He’s given us a few colour variations for the lettering,’ I said, clicking through the red, green, blue and gold options. ‘I like the red best – it’s a really vibrant shade like a tractor.’
‘I agree,’ Mam said. ‘He’s done a brilliant job.’
I replied to accept the red version and, a few minutes later, another email came through.
To: Grace Coates
From: Lindon Pickersgill
