‘The best half of the group.’ It was said jokingly, but I knew that the changes to our friendship group hurt her as much as me.
When Laurie proposed to me at our graduation ball, it was the perfect finale to three incredible years at Loughborough University. The six of us had ended the evening sitting on the grass outside the student union building dressed in our ballgowns and tuxedos with pints of Purple Nasty – the university’s signature drink of half cider, half lager and a splash of blackcurrant – toasting the future.
‘Where do we reckon we’ll all be in twenty years’ time?’ Erica had asked.
Adrian joked that he’d be a billionaire sailing around the world on a luxury yacht and Ned tried to convince us we’d be living on Mars but the one thing we all hoped for was to find love and happiness. Jude, Ned and Adrian were single at that point and, although Erica had a boyfriend, she wasn’t convinced they’d last beyond the summer. Erica and Ned had graduate jobs lined up in London, Jude was staying on to do her PGCE, and Adrian was going travelling because he wasn’t convinced he wanted to do anything with his economics degree.
‘You two have it all sussed already,’ Adrian had said, looking at Laurie and me. ‘You’ve got great jobs lined up, somewhere to live, and you’ve found the one. Cheers to having the Midas touch!’
I wasn’t sure about the Midas touch but I was a big planner and I’d loved that our future was mapped out.
‘By the time you two are thirty, I predict two point four beautiful kids,’ Jude said.
‘You’ll live on a farm full of rescue animals cos you’re suckers for strays,’ Ned added.
‘And be happy together forever and ever,’ Erica concluded.
Gazing down at the small but perfect diamond on my engagement ring, I’d believed that Jude’s and Erica’s predictions would come true but it seemed Ned had nailed it instead. Except for the part where Laurie would be living on the farm with me.
‘I’m sorry seeing Towers again made you cry,’ Jude said, bringing my thoughts back to the present. ‘It’ll probably set me off when I drive past it too. What are you doing right now?’
‘I’m with the horses.’ I panned the camera round the field so she could see them.
‘I can’t wait to visit and see it for real. I won’t keep you long but I wanted to check in and make sure you’re okay after this morning’s shock news.’
‘It’s not ideal, but we’ll be fine. Thanks for cheering me up and for sending me the info from Companies House. It was really helpful. How was work?’
‘Grim. That ridiculous man has suddenly started calling me June. Heknowsmy name’s Jude. He’s been calling me that for eight months. I let it go the first time – easy slip of the tongue – but he’s been doing it all week. He did it in front of a new client so I corrected him and he tore a strip off me later for embarrassing him in front of them. I’m desperate to get away from him. My fortnight off can’t come soon enough.’
‘Pointless power games again,’ I said, my heart going out to her. ‘Next week will fly by and you’ll be able to put him out of sight, out of mind.’
After we said goodbye, I wished I’d been able to say,Tell Ross Langley where to stick his job and come and work for me, but it wasn’t an option. Mam and I had already discussed it and, much as we’d have valued Jude’s experience and expertise, we couldn’t pay her a wage commensurate with it – or at least not until significantly down the line when we’d (hopefully) be turning a good profit.
Athena had wandered over to the gate so I stroked her neck, reflecting on Maddie asking why I was crying when we drove past Loughborough yesterday.
‘Because I can see Towers which is where I met and fell in love with your dad, which makes me sad.’
‘Then why did you leave him?’
‘I didn’t leave him, Maddie. He left me. You know that.’
‘Because of you.’
I’d shot my head round, stunned at the accusation. ‘No! I did nothing wrong.’
‘You’re sure? Something must have happened to make him leave.’
‘It didn’t. Your dad wanted to start over without me and nothing was going to change his mind so I had to accept that despite it not being what I wanted.’
‘If it wasn’t what you wanted, why didn’t you fight for him?’
I’d glanced across at her once more, curious as to whether her expression was angry, confused or something else, but I’d been unable to read it.
‘I tried but, like I say, he’d already made his decision.’
‘Did you even love Dad?’
‘Of course I did! I gave him my heart when I was eighteen and I thought he’d keep it safe forever but he broke it.’
