“See?”
“But it’s different with me and Amy, Mom.”
“No, it’s not.Deep in your heart, you know it isn’t.”
I hung my head and sighed heavily.“Fuck, I hurt Amy and didn’t even realize it!”
“Why did you even tell her that?You’re building a nice life, you’re taking all the right steps,” Mom added.
“I honestly don’t know.But I don’t want to hurt Amy.I love her.”
“I know that, son, but have you told her that?I would, before she goes out on that date.Let her decide what she wants.”
I felt a vein pulse in my temple.
“You look annoyed just at the thought of her going on a date with anyone else.”
I stood up.“That’s because I am.Fuck, I can’t even imagine that.”
I had no filter today, but neither did Mom, so I didn’t feel guilty.
“Fantastic.Make sure she knows that, son.Just tell her how you feel.”
“I have told her repeatedly.And that pisses me off the most.I welcomed her into my life, but she couldn’t even tell her friend that she was dating me?”
Mom sighed and turned off the TV.“Listen, I know you’ve had your own lifestyle forever.”
“My own lifestyle?”I asked with a laugh.
“Yes.I mean your dating life specifically.And it’s made you happy.But not anymore.You’ve changed since you started going out with Amy.Maybe you’re having a hard time accepting that change.You’re the only one who truly knows what you want for the future.Don’t be afraid to accept that you no longer want the things you once did.For example, I figured I’d be single my whole life.When your father and I started getting along, I thought, ‘Well, he’ll make a good friend.’Needless to say, things worked out differently.It took me a while to even admit to myself that I wanted to give us another chance.And I’m so happy that I did, that I wasn’t afraid of my own feelings.”
“I’m not afraid,” I said.
She raised a brow.“Aren’t you?You don’t have to admit it to me.Just ponder things for a bit.But for the love of God, if you don’t want Amy to go out with another man, you should tell her.Because she might take you at face value.Next thing you know, she’s on another guy’s arm, getting marri—”
“Fuck no!”I exclaimed before Mom could finish that thought.
She smiled triumphantly.“See?That’s your answer.”
She was so damn right.Thatwasmy answer.When I looked into the future, I couldn’t see myself going out with my brother to pick up a woman ever again.And I definitely couldn’t see Amy on another guy’s arm.What had I been thinking, telling her that?
She was mine, and I needed to tell her right away.
“Crap.I’ve got to go.”
She grinned.“You’re going to pay Amy a visit, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”I was a fucking idiot, and I wanted to rectify that immediately.She needed to know I loved her and that I was the right guy for her.Did I want kids?With Amy, fuck yes.I wanted her—and I was determined to give her everything she desired.
“All right, then, don’t let me keep you.”She smiled and clapped her hands.“Oh, I’m so happy about you and Amy.I’ve known it for years but always felt you weren’t mature enough.But I knew one day you’d see what’s right in front of you.I’m so glad you did.I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.”
“Thanks, Mom.Say hi to Dad for me.”
The corner of her mouth twitched.“You go.Don’t let your dad see you, or he’ll talk to you until the sun goes down.”
“Yep, I’m gone,” I said.
She was right.Dad loved to talk.I didn’t mind—quite the contrary—but tonight, I just wanted to see Amy.Why did I wait so long?Mom was right.I’d hurt her.I was sure of it.
