She blinked.“Um, okay.”She nodded, then smiled before leaving.
What the fuck did I just do?
* * *
Amy
Ispent the next twohours in a bit of a daze.Ms.Adams told us about this fantastic sponsorship she’d obtained—which meant we could plan more activities for the rest of the year.But I was really only half paying attention.I wasn’t entirely sure what just went on between me and Knox.Had he really told me I should go on that date?And that he’d gotten carried away with the idea of moving in?It felt like a punch to the gut.I mean, on Monday, he’d sent me a list of moving companies that his assistant had come up with and even suggested that he could strong-arm my landlord into letting me out of my lease sooner.
I was so confused.
Once Ms.Adams finished talking about her plans, the others pitched in with ideas.Usually I had plenty myself, but I couldn’t focus.Part of me wanted to text Knox and ask what all of this meant.Was this more casual than I’d imagined?It couldn’t be.I remembered how possessive he’d been when he’d insisted we were only seeing each other.And the event!No, I wasn’t blowing it out of proportion.He’d wanted us to be exclusive.
And then the realization hit me.Oh my God, did this mean we were breaking up?
“Amy?You don’t have anything to add?”Ms.Adams asked.“You’ve been very quiet.”
“Sorry.I don’t feel too well.”
“Oh, poor thing.You should have said that from the beginning.Come to think of it, you do look a bit pale.Well, we’re done here anyway.We’ll regroup and continue this conversation another time.”
Agnes and I left first, and though I wasn’t in the mood to chit-chat, she caught up with me as I left the classroom.“You okay?Want me to make you a tea before you go home?”
“Thanks, but I think I just need to rest.”I paused, trying to figure out what I wanted to say next.I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.“Listen, Agnes.Thanks a lot for thinking about me when it comes to your brother, but I’m just not ready for anything right now.”
“Oh.”She frowned.“Okay.”
“Really, don’t take it personally.”
“Don’t worry.If you change your mind, just know that he’s available.”
But I’m not, I wanted to say.Although I wasn’t sure about it anymore.What did Knox mean?I was driving myself crazy trying to figure it out.But there was no reason to.I was going to see him in a minute, and then I could ask him to his face.
Agnes bid me goodbye, and I hurried outside.I looked around for Knox’s car.Maybe it was a few blocks down.I swallowed hard, checking the time.Maybe he was running late.I’d said two hours, after all, and he still had twenty minutes to go.
But twenty minutes came and went, and Knox didn’t show up.I bit the inside of my cheek, playing with my phone.I started to send him a message but wasn’t sure what to type.What could I possibly say?“Hey, are we still on?Did we break up?What in the hell is going on?”
As I waited for him in front of the school, it dawned on me that he simply wasn’t coming.I knew what that meant.
I was in a state of disbelief as I drove home, a million questions filling my mind.My eyes were red and stinging.
I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.Maybe I’d relax and watch Netflix.I was bone-tired.Truthfully, being a teacher was my dream job, though it also sucked away all my energy.I was rarely in the mood to socialize in the afternoons and evenings.But I couldn’t sit still.That’s why I started to bake.
Hell yeah.I was going to use everything I had in the fridge.I’d done that a few times on a whim, and it usually turned out surprisingly well.I had all sorts of weird leftovers: a bit of mac and cheese, some minced meat, Spanish chorizo, spinach, and cheese.I decided to use all the spinach and cheese.
While I took out the flour and everything else I needed, my phone beeped.I nearly dropped the bag of flour in my haste to get to the counter.Surely, Knox was—nope, it was my mom.
“You’re on speakerphone.I’m moving around the kitchen.”
“Baking?”Mom asked.
“Yup.Spinach and cheese pie.”
After a short pause, she asked, “Did you have a bad week?”
I stopped in the act of putting flour in a bowl and frowned at the phone.“What do you mean?”
“You make spinach and cheese when you’re upset.”
