“They might call and ask some questions, that’s all. And then Mammy will know. I’m just being cautious. I’m not ready to come home yet,” I add, quietly.
“Fine,” she says. Her expression is worried, but she forces a smile. “But you let me borrowanythingI want when you come home. . .”
“Sure.”
“From yourLondonwardrobe.”
I grit my teeth. “Fine.”
“Grand! Dying of boredom over here, anyway. It shouldn’t be too hard.” She hesitates. “Mammy and Daddy are busy with Granny H again.”
“Oh, no, not again. What happened this time?”
“She went a bit loopy at the home. Doctors said she was dehydrated, which she was, but turns out she also had an infection. She hadn’t drunk properly for days, they’ve had to sedate her to put a drip in. You know what she’s like.”
“I do.” Poor Granny.
“Anyway, they’ve been rushed off their feet between work and visiting her.” Meghan smiles proudly. “I’ve been cooking the dinners.”
“Good girl.” I smile.
“Yeah, I’m hoping if I keep the house nice they might let me over to see you after all.”
Something like ice trickles through my veins. “Megs, I don’t know. . .”
“Fine. I guess I’ll just have to tell them how muchfunyou’re having.” Her voice drips with sarcasm and I curse myself for training her so well.
“Oh, shut up. Just keep yourself out of trouble, OK?”
“Says you.” She sticks her tongue out and I see the room blur as she throws herself back on the bed. She now has one huge, curled mop of hair on one side of her head, and the other is poker straight. “Right, I’d better go, they’ll be back in a bit and I’ve got to put the spuds on. Speak soon?”
“Of course.” She plants a big, squelchy kiss on the screen, her lips filling it. I do the same, guilt beginning to gnaw at my tummy. “Love you, Megs. And thanks.”
She waves it off. “Yeah, yeah. Love you too. Stay safe, you. Byeeeeeeee—”
The screen goes dark and she’s gone.
I copy her, flopping back on my own bed in the new room. It’s smaller than my first room – the one I never slept in. The view’s rubbish too – a car park and some office buildings. Gutted. I stare up at the grimy ceiling, my eyes tracking the grid pattern of the tiles. It would be so easy to go home, now. Jump on a boat or the next cheap flight and go back to normal.
But that was what was wrong with my life, wasn’t it? It was too “normal”. Boring, in other words. And, my word, have I worked hard to get here. All those shifts at the café after school, the farm jobs at the weekend. All that time and money spent on drama lessons, travelling to London to audition. Will I have to give it up, just because some creeper is stalking me?
Well, yeah, probably. It would be the sensible thing to do.
I let my imagination take over. What if I do write the best essay and win the scholarship? I can see it so clearly – my life in London at drama college, working at the museum, Tommy. . .
Tommy. I let my thoughts linger there, picturing his cheeky smile. If I stayed, maybe we’d have a proper chance, maybe even a relationship. I imagine future us standing on the Southbank, Tower Bridge all lit up in the background. Behind us, the Thames is dark and imposing. Tommy’s lips are soft, gentle as he leans closer, brushing them softly across mine. . .
Yeah, I’m not going anywhere yet.
It’s hot in here. I kick my sliders off, wishing I had been allowed to stay at Jess’s after all – I’m in desperate need of some distraction and I could really do with the company. Will she still want to be my friend after all this? I hope so. I flick through my contacts and reach her name, hovering my thumb over it before I hit dial.
I press the call button and wait patiently as it rings. And rings. And rings.
No answer. I decide not to leave a message because I seem to be sinking into the bed. The pillow is fluffy, like a cloud. I’ll text her instead. I try to focus on the screen but a yawn ripples through me and my eyes blur and water, until all I can see is a bright rectangle. The phone slips from my open hand and I close my eyes, just for a second. I’ll text her in a minute.
*
It takes me a second to remember where I am. Actually, it takes a second to remember who I am, what day it is,andwhere I am.
