“I gifted it to someone.”
“Your sex desk?”
“It was one time!” he said, shaking his head at me. “If I fucked someone up against the bar wall, would that make it my sex wall?”
“Kind of.” He shot me a wince and rubbed the back of his neck. “You whore,” I teased. “Do you ever take it to the bed?”
“Beds are fun. Other places are fun too.”
Unbidden, the memory of riding Raff in the backseat of the town car while driving through traffic came flooding back.
I’d never done anything like that before.
And Rian was right—there was something exhilarating about it.
“Well, on that note: my new desk is off-limits for your sexual exploits.”
“That thing cost a small fortune. Having to replace it is deterrent enough. Well, I gotta… work,” he said, waving out at the bar.
“You don’t even know what you’re supposed to do, do you?”
“I figure I can fake it until Sean, Conor, or Eoin come in to actually do what needs to be done. It’s nice having you back, doll.”
With that, he left, and I took a moment to admire the desk that, a week or so ago, would have been something to keep my spirits up for months. But I didn’t feel much of the excitement as that weird sinking sensation inside me only grew stronger with each passing moment.
Determined not to harp on it, I left my office and walked across the street to the grocery store, browsing the sad selection of premade foods to get me through the next few days.
No more loaded hot dogs, authentic tacos, or jambalaya. No amazing fresh coffee.
It’s not forever, I reminded myself.
In fact, it could be a lot shorter than I’d originally thought. If Arty was as good as everyone claimed. If Drake was more gullible than he thought he was.
I could be just weeks away from things being much more on track. No more hiding. No more pretending. No more sacrificing everything that gave my life even the smallest bit of joy.
And once I had that money back, I would have a lot of planning to do. A lot of things to distract me from all these thoughts and memories and feelings I didn’t want to confront.
Until then, though, I was stuck vacillating between thoughts of what we’d shared… and what he was up to now that I was gone.
I sat on my bed, stabbing my fork into a limp chicken caesar salad as I tried to focus on the cheesy reality TV show on my laptop. But all I could think about was being curled up in a softbed with Raff, pretending I hated his silly romance movies while my heart positively melted in my chest.
It was the same feeling I got when Raff or I shared something funny, sat too close, touched.
“Ugh!” I snapped, slamming the lid of my laptop closed and dropping my half-eaten salad onto the nightstand as I felt the stinging in my eyes.
I wasn’t going to cry.
Except it was too late.
And now that I let the floodgates open, I wasn’t sure I would ever stop flowing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Raff
I got the text when I was negotiating with some shirtless, greasy-haired guy in the back of his pickup truck over some guns that wouldn’t even bank us that much money. But I knew I couldn’t show back up in Shady Valley without a halfway decent haul. And this was my last stop before doing the last leg of my trip.
I wasn’t even going to stop for the three hours of sleep I desperately needed. I was just going to drive the last thirteen hours straight.
