‘Er… Jules?’
I reach over for a handful of Ash’s popcorn. ‘Mm?’
‘Logan’s here.’
I stop chewing. ‘What? Where?’
‘He did the grid walk. A clip of him speaking to Channel 3’s trending.’
I swallow and it digests uneasily. ‘I mean, he’s American. It’s not so crazy for him to be here.’ I lean over her screen, skimming the subtitles as the circuit fills with the sounds of the formation lap. ‘He lives in San?—’
We read the words at the same time.
‘I feel an affinity with this sport. My ex is dating Tom Webber. I mean, “dating” is a strong word. Let’s not pretend she’s here for love. She’s a fraud. I’m going to post a vlog about it tonight, after the race. At theloganrogers.’
My stomach drops. A hollow, sickening swoop.
Pretend.
Fraud.
My phone buzzes with an incoming call and I startle out of my seat.
‘Have you seen it?’ Minnie’s breathless on speaker.
I can’t say anything.
Thankfully, Ash takes up the mantle. ‘She’s seen it!’
‘I swear to God, I saw Brian talking to him but I was on camera, and by the time we cut away, Logan had moved on.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ I say weakly.
‘He said something similar to ESPN,’ Minnie adds. ‘Why they give that twat airtime is beyond me.’
‘It might not be that bad,’ Ash reasons, her head millimetres from mine to be heard above the formation lap closing. ‘Everybody knows your strategy anyway.’
‘Tom doesn’t,’ I utter.
I mean, he might know, but even if he does, he wasn’t supposed to be embarrassed like this. I should’ve talked to him after our spat in Belgium. It would’ve let me explain myself, instead of him having to bat away rumours in the media pen unarmed, thinking his girlfriend’s a bald-faced liar. Well, I am, but I have my reasons.
And while the public might think they know everything, I’ve never confirmed it. My dating has always been intentionally ambiguous. Without that air of mystery, there’s nothing exciting about me. I’m predictable. Scrollable. Yesterday’s news.
I knew Logan would do something big. He’s been trying to keep his heartbreak relevant this entire year. Now it’s October and the NFL season’s back in session, it’s ripe timing for a big hero piece to return his name to the top of news feeds. I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. I’m so stupid. Why didn’t I back out when he first said he loved me? I couldn’t control him then and I especially can’t now. This is anightmare.
I feel sick. This heat, this crowd, and the fact that Tiago’s about to fight for his life definitely aren’t helping.
‘I need air,’ I mumble.
‘Coming!’ Ash sings, grabbing our bags and Reece’s head.
‘Ash is right,’ says Minnie, meeting us in a shaded corner away from the stand. ‘What can he spill that we don’t already know? It’s not like he can prove anything. He’ll just embarrass himself and look like a sore loser.’
‘You’ll be fine, Jules.’ Ash’s tone is stern and measured. Asha Chakravarty, LLM, Counsel for the Defendant, has joined the chat. ‘This is under control. This time is different. It’s not like it was with Damian. You have options. You always have options.’
My head’s listening but my body’s not. My heartbeat’s stumbling over itself. My fingers are prickly. My shoulders have locked.
How did I give a man the power to ruin meagain?
