‘What? No! Of course n?—’
‘Where we come from, family is everything.’
‘Don’t pull that shit with me. I love having you as my manager, you know that, but we’d never dealt with a change like that before. I thought we needed specialist damage control.’
‘Behind myback?’
‘I thought you’d be mad,’ I mumble.
‘I am mad!’
Obviously this is what I was trying to avoid.
‘You’re a coward, Santiago,’ he spits. Literally. On my leg.
‘How does sparing my brother this misunderstanding make me a cow?—’
‘Because it’s not a misunderstanding. You’re exactly the person you were at the start of this year. You don’t take responsibility. You don’t think of anyone but yourself?—’
‘Hey! I?—’
‘—you’re immature and careless, and you’re going to trash all of our careers.’
‘Yo!’
‘But, worse than that, you betrayed your own family. You chose a pair of tits who don’t even like you back over me.’
Pair of tits?Don’t even like me back?‘Wait a minute, I?—’
‘I would never have done that to you,’ he says, and it’s such a punch in the gut because I know he wouldn’t. ‘And I’ll never forgive you.’
His words clank around my head. This isn’t like the time I told a girl he was gay so she’d choose me. Or the time I stole his car and scratched it. This is different. But all brothers fight, right?
I reach out for him. ‘Juanca?—’
He pulls back like my fingers are on fire. ‘Fuck you.’
Chapter 36
JULES
SPA, BELGIUM
Ihaven’t done a red carpet as a couple in ages, but all the poses and angles come back to me like no time has passed. Tom wraps an arm around my waist and points a smile at the loudest voice. It’s not his forte but for Liberty Media’s sake, he’ll give it his best shot.
It’s very different to the red carpets I experienced with Logan – overlit, hype music, MCs shouting names, and brimming with contestants from this season’sDancing with the Stars. The Champions and Constructor’s Circle Dinner is in a chateau deep in the Ardennes Forest. At once dilapidated and classically elegant, it’s all legendary F1 drivers who even I know. I think I spot Minnie’s dad. She’s here somewhere too.
As much as I love dressing up – and I really am devoted to this navy gown from Belgian designer Elara Vandevelde – Tiago and his stupid, latentTiagonessare ruining it. Matter of fact, they’re ruining everything right now. My gym sessions, my sleeping, my mindful walks, my meditation. Don’t even get me started on how many times I bring him up in conversation.
It’s so dumb because I’m the one who left. I’m the one who spiralled and lashed out like a rabid dog. I was harsh, but I don’t regret it, even if I did cry the entire flight back. If he knew what Iwas keeping him from, he’d thank me. He doesn’t want the real Jules. And I can’t want him. For a million reasons, my place is right here with Tom.
I regret slapping Tiago, though. All those telenovelas must have gone to my head. He looked so shocked and wounded, and it’s all I can see whenever I close my eyes. My chest tightens just thinking about it.
I wonder if he thinks about me as much as I think about him. I’m probably just a crazy bitch – one of many. It’s for the best, but that doesn’t make it ache any less.
I plaster a doting smile on my face and suck in as deep a breath as I can with these spanks constricting my organs. This is my job. I know how to do it. It feels safe. Accompanying Tom here cements my position in this sport. It signifies another step up – I no longer need to source my own invite, I’m an automatic plus one. Everyone knows I’m Tom’s girlfriend. This is everything I’ve been working for.
Maybe if I think it enough times it’ll stick.
