But he couldn’t fall into the kiss the wayhealways did. Too much had happened today. His head was spinning, the tension was a horrible heavy weight and the urge to seek refuge – to find somewheresafe– was simply too strong to ignore.
‘You’re right,’ he said, lifting his lips from hers to press a kiss onto her forehead instead. ‘It’s been a big day. Let’s both get some rest.’
He let her go.
‘I’ll call you tomorrow,’ he promised.
21
Angus did call the next day.
But it wasn’t to arrange to spend any time with Tilly. Quite the opposite. He rang to say he was taking a flight to Switzerland to have a day of meetings with his new clients. He might have to go to London as well, to meet with representatives of the clinical team and hospital who were hosting the drug trial.
‘I’m not sure when I’ll be back,’ he said.
‘Pas de problème,’ Tilly assured him. ‘But, if you’re back by Thursday, Sophie and Luc have invited us both for dinner. They really want to meet you.’
‘Sounds good. I’ll be in touch.’
And that was that.
Tilly had to swallow the words she was desperate to say.
Je t’aime.
I love you.
Tu vas me manquer.
I’ll miss you.
She’d felt Angus push her away last night. Literally. When he’d broken that kiss and put his hands on her shoulders while he kissed her forehead instead of her lips, she had feltthe gentle pressure of him creating a physical distance between them. When he’d agreed that it was better for her to go home so they could both rest, with the unmistakeable implication that sleep was preferable to making love, the distance had become emotional as well.
And Tilly hadn’t slept.
She’d lain awake and thought about Angus. And the ring. That beautiful ring that she shouldn’t have even touched, let alone put on her finger – even if it wasn’t the finger that an engagement ring would go onto. There was no getting away from the fact that it hadlookedlike an engagement ring to Angus, judging by the horrified expression that bloomed on his face as they’d both looked up.
Because, in his mind, that ring was a symbol of his ‘failure’ to become a prospective husband and father, with the rest of his life neatly planned out, with any risks assessed and considered manageable.
Or was it because it hadfeltlike an engagement ring to Tilly and perhaps she’d revealed too much inherface?
Yes.
This is what I want. More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my whole life.
That was how she’d been feeling in that moment, so can it not have shown in her eyes?
Les yeux sont le miroir de l’âme.
What did they say in English? That the eyes are windows, rather than mirrors?
It didn’t matter. Angus could have seen it. She’d seen a flash of something inhiseyes, as well, that she hadn’t wanted to think about because it had looked like… fear. Horror, even.
Was that because Tilly was nothing like the woman he could imagine himself falling in love with and he was suddenly feeling trapped?
Or was it that he knew he’d have to tell her that she was never going to be The One for him but he’d just realised how much that might hurt her?
Either way, it was going to be the end that she should have known was always going to arrive.
