Her eyebrows raise beyond the square frame of her glasses. “Really? Kerry told me you were communicating with them, but he didn’t say it had gotten as severe as that. That must’ve been hard for you.”
I give a small nod, looking down at the yarn in my lap again as I try to breathe through the aching in my chest. “Yes, it was. I…I haven’t told Kerry yet.”
“Hm, I see.” Marjorie takes a deep breath and lifts her face to greet the sunshine. “That would explain why my nephew is trying not to pull out his hair. I’ve had to calm him down from chasing after you and demanding how he can fix it.”
I exhale softly, a cold and clammy feeling descending over me. “That does sound like him. I’m sorry.” How lost have I become in my head? I didn’t even realize that Kerry was worried. I feel bad for making him feel that way, and for making Marjorie need to help him. Because ofmy silly feelings.I feel even more sick. I’m going to be his wife, but here I am, feeling more like a ghost that roams his property.
Marjorie huffs a bit, shaking her head. “Don’t be sorry, love. You have a lot going on, and any one of them is enough to overwhelm even the most resilient of people. So just take a deep breath. You’re doing better than you think.”
Her words soothe that deep part of me that felt prickly about not being more productive after the texts started to come in. I hadn’t even realized how much I was beating myself up about not accomplishing more. They’re words no one has really spoken to me, and I didn’t know how much I needed them until they were said.
“Thank you, Marjorie,” I say quietly. I’m even more surprised when she reaches out and rubs my back, just for a couple of moments, but still.
She sighs when she pulls her hand away. “Do you want to talk about it?”
My lips part and then close again, not quite sure what to say. “I feel like I was raised to be cattle. Like I was born just to be traded off in marriage to some random mafia dude, they didn’t even bother to tell me that my grandfather wasinthe mafia. Everyone knew all along. I’m like an object to them, not a person. I feel like my heart is breaking.”
Marjorietsksand shakes her head. “Kerry told me that they treated you like a pawn in a chess game, like a little doll that they could dress up and ship off like a prize. I know people like that exist, of course, but it’s always confounding to hear about. I couldn’t have children of my own, Kerry is the closest thing I have. I could never imagine doing that to him oranychild.”
I give a small nod, agreeing with her. “It’s hard for me to believe, too. Even harder for me to realize that that’s howI’vebeen treated.”
She rubs my back again, just for a brief moment before pulling away again. “You deserve better. You deserve a placewhere you can fully be yourself. I think my nephew is good for you in that regard.”
I turn to give her a smile, feeling the sunshine melt away that cold and clammy feeling. “I agree. He has already been good for me.”
Maybe I needed to learn to rely on him more, bit by bit. He’s going to be my husband, after all.
19
Kerry
Istraighten my tie again, looking in the mirror to make sure it’s on right and my flat tweed cap isn’t askew. Marjorie huffs from the lounge behind me. “Stop fussing. You look handsome as a devil, as you always do.” She rises, grabbing my arm to turn me away from the mirror. Her fingers deftly pull at my tie and redo it, as if she knows that will soothe me.
And she’s right. I let out a long exhale, trying to calm myself. “I just want to look my best, that’s all. She deserves nothing less.”
“Yes, she does. Which is why you’re such a good match.” She pats my cheek, that same stern affection she’s always had for me shining in her eyes. I can see the warmth in them, as steady as can be, unwavering in her love for me. Her words comfort me in ways I’m not sure anyone else could.
I bring her hand up to my lips and kiss the back of it gently. “Thank you for everything.”
There’s tears in her eyes when I lower her hand back down. “You’ve got nothing to thank me for, Kerry. I just did right by you, that’s all. It’s what anyoneshoulddo.”
I shake my head. I can’t imagine for a moment letting her think that. “No. You never stopped at the bare minimum. Youalways went over and above to make sure I was cared for. You still do it, despite me being in my thirties now.”
After Amy told me what her family said to her and how she’d had to block them, I’ve been stewing in my fury. It made me appreciate Marjorie all the more.
I’ve never felt more helpless than waiting for Amy to tell me why she seemed so lost and distant. Marjorie helped me realize that those feelings were out of my love for Amy. That was what I needed to focus on.
Now, more than ever, I am thankful for my aunt.
Marjorie smiles up at me, eyes still glossy as she squeezes my hand. “Because I love you, Kerry. You’re my boy, even if I don’t always say it, I do love you.”
I wrap my arms around her tightly, squeezing her but careful not to hurt her. “I love you, too, aintín,” my voice is soft and tender, calling her as I did as a little boy.
She takes in a shaky breath, tears making her eyes shine. Her brows are pinched in an effort not to cry. “Look at you. Your mother would be so happy, so proud of you.”
Warmth fills my chest at the thought. “She’d be happy to know you’ve taken such good care of me.” Marjorie had only been in her early twenties when my mother died and she stepped up to parent me since my father definitely wasn’t going to. She’d sacrificed so much for me over the years. I can only hope she gets whatever she wants, whatever that may be. I’ll move heaven and earth to give it to her.
That soft smile returns on her face, gently lined with graceful wrinkles. “It’s been my honor.”
