I perked up despite myself. That coincided with festival week, when all servants were given a temporary leave of absence.Maybe this was exactly what I needed—a few days away from the castle, filled with contests, familiar faces, and enough noise to drown out the thoughts I refused to keep having. It might cheer me up and get my mind off of…
No.
I did not even want to think about him.
“Who all will be there?” I asked nonchalantly.
James smiled in a way that told me he knew exactly why I had asked. “Mostly the families in Sherwood, myself, you if you come, and Lincoln. Obviously, your father’s group is too far away, and Philip’s army doesn’t celebrate festival week, so Dale and Will Scarlet can’t get away. And I believe Baron said he was too busy with work.”
Good.
I didn’t want to be around him anyway. He would probably criticize whatever I did or else continue to not look at me. He was too busy, of course. Baron had to juggle being the Merry Men’s saintly informant with being one of Prince John’s closest advisors. How noble. How self-sacrificing. How utterly irritating.
Maybe I would find someone new to be with. Someone honorable and who treated me with respect and didn’t act like I was a reckless child who needed to be managed. I could find someone who would look at me and not make me wonder which pieces of him were real and which were remnants of the man he used to be.
That would show Baron.
“He really is doing some noble things, you know,” James said. “Baron.”
I stiffened.
“He’s been sending gold back to the villagers he stole from. He won’t even let me tell anyone who it’s really from. He always says to tell them it’s from Robin Hood.”
I didn’t say anything.
James often told me stories like that now, about how Baron had made sure a widow had her wedding ring returned to her, or how he had given up his own salary to replace what had been taken from villagers. Every story was meant to reassure me, I was sure of it, but they only reminded me of what I had lost by ending things with Baron. They reminded me that I had loved him for reasons I couldn’t entirely dismiss, no matter how angry I remained.
But I had also heard stories from the servants too—stories about Baron attacking those who stood up to him, or about how he stole everything from poor peasants. Everyone was terrified of him, and maybe they had reason to be. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. One moment, I remembered the man who had protected me for months and who was an excellent cook. The next, I saw Walter’s damaged hand and remembered how he was prepared to whip one of his men to death.
I wanted something, anything, to take my mind off my current predicament.
I wanted to get away.
“I’ll go,” I told James. “I’ll go to the tournament.”
I neededa mount to get to Sherwood Forest and back in a reasonable amount of time. The stable boy, Conrad, the one Aalis was still madly in love with, was not a bright lad by any standard. All I had to do was get him out of the way without arousing suspicion, and I could borrow one of the horses for long enough to make the journey. Borrowing was a much nicer wordthan stealing, and as I fully intended to return the animal, it wouldn’t actually be stealing.
I walked back to my lonely bed while the other servants chattered excitedly about their plans for festival week. Their voices filled the corridor, all laughter and eager anticipation. Some spoke of games while others talked of dances, food stalls, and minstrels. I should have shared their enthusiasm. Instead, I felt as though I was standing just outside the merriment, watching everyone else enjoy the sort of simple happiness I couldn’t quite reach.
“Isn’t it exciting, Isabella?” a perky voice came from behind me.
I pivoted and found myself face to face with Aalis. I hastily rearranged my expression into one of enthusiasm. “Yes,” I squealed, clasping her outstretched hands.
Aalis jumped up and down, overcome with excitement. I couldn’t match her level of giddiness, but I did my best to look as though I might attempt it if properly encouraged. She hooked her arm through mine and began walking down the corridor toward the servants’ quarters. “What are your plans for the week, Izzy?”
“I’m going home to visit my family,” I said. “They’re in Barnsdale.”
“And…?” She nudged me in the ribs, her eyebrows bouncing in a way that warned me exactly where this conversation was headed. “Anyone else?”
“Who else would I visit?” I asked, confused.
Aalis heaved a sigh of exasperation. “Honestly, Izzy. Sometimes I think you have no interest in boys at all. Isn’t there someone special you want to see? Didn’t you say you had someone back home?”
Oh, right. Cue the stupid obsession with boys.
Although, I reminded myself, hadn’t that been exactly what I was doing? At least until I came to my senses and stopped thinking about Baron.
“Oh, yes, there is,” I said, adding a giggle that sounded convincing enough to satisfy Aalis.
