Marigold shut the door. “What about my mother?” she asked quietly.
Now Yuk Fong looked at her. It was a grave, unflinching look that confirmed all of Marigold’s fears.
Marigold had told the dean that her father was critically ill and she needed the semester off to be with him—but that wasn’t the whole truth. She wanted to be with her mother, too. Helen had changed since Marigold had last been home. Her complexion was watery, her voice hoarse and sapped of strength, and even when she stood in front of the oven, inserting tray after tray of bread to be baked, pale white goosebumps dappled her skin. Helen had always been zealous about keeping her hair short and curled, but she’d stopped cutting her hair. She looked like an entirely different person.
“It started after Dad’s diagnosis,” Rosie confided to Marigold. “Sometimes she forgets to eat, or she’ll even leave the bakery unattended.”
Marigold tried to hide her disquiet. “How long is she gone for?”
“Last week it was almost the whole day.” Rosie bit down on her lip. “I found her in the kitchen sitting in front of the oven. She was just staring at the wall.”
“What was on the wall?”
“Nothing. Well, her shadow.”
Her shadow.
Even now, as Marigold sat next to her grandmother, those words echoed relentlessly in her mind.
“I’ve always wondered why only I can see that Mom’s shadow is missing,” Marigold began. “It’s been a mystery I couldn’t solve—until today.”
Yuk Fong gave her an expectant look.
“You called what we have a curse,” said Marigold, starting backward. “I didn’t believe you. I thought all I saw were memories, glimpses of the past. Nothing dangerous. The truth is, since I started having these sparks, I’ve been... afraid. I stayed in the attic to avoid having to talk to anyone. At school I stopped talking to my friends.” She tugged at her gloves. “I wore armor and locked myself away.”
“What were you afraid of?” Yuk Fong asked. “The pain?”
Marigold stared at her hands. Yes, that was part of it. Not so much from the sparks but more from the heartache she always felt. Kenji had helped her stop fearing the memories. He would hold her hand and make those silly turtle jokes, saying he was helping her out of her shell. But he was gone.
“I was afraid of the truth,” she said finally. “I used to think of my... condition as something I could diagnose and treat. I figured, so long as I kept a barrier between me and everythingelse, I could repress my symptoms.” She shook her head. “That was a mistake. That’s why I didn’t understand.
“It’s not just the past that I see. I see the truths we try to hide, the threads that have frayed and left us broken.” At last she could accept it: “My curse,” she uttered, the word tumbling out like a stone, “is to see what hurts us most.”
Yuk Fong leaned back, sinking into the cushion. “You’ve seen what hurts your mother most?”
“It was years ago, but when she touched me I got the sharpest spark I’ve ever felt. It took me to a cold and empty place where nothing else existed. It was terrifying being so alone. I was feeling what Mom felt. She was hurt, as if a part of her were missing.”
“Her shadow,” Yuk Fong murmured.
“She lost it somewhere,” agreed Marigold. She leaned forward. “I think her shadow doesn’t disappear like the rest of her does. It anchors her to this world. Without it, she vanishes into that void and just keeps drifting.” Marigold suppressed a shudder. “One day, she might not find her way out.”
“That is your mother’s curse, to become nothing.”
“But it’ll kill her.”
“Yes.” Yuk Fong’s eyes, ever luminous and profound, turned dark. “It will.”
Marigold clenched her fists. She should’ve come back sooner. It was some consolation to know that Philip was getting the best care possible, with her sisters and a team of doctors and nurses at his side. But Helen... Helen had no one.
“You’ve seen the future,” she said urgently. “You could tell her what’s going to happen. You can save her.”
Yuk Fong shook her head. “I’ve known for years your mother would have a hard life,” she admitted. “Some of it I saw before she left me, some I saw after she was already gone. Wouldthings have been better if I’d told her? I torture myself with that question every day.
“What I do know is that everything I see will come to pass. There’s nothing I can do to change it. I’ve tried.” Her shoulders sank. “All my life I’ve tried.”
“Then letmetry.” Marigold touched her grandmother’s sleeve. “Please.”
Yuk Fong hesitated. She was considering, twisting her gnarled and swollen fingers until they turned pink. “My mother slept to escape living. I keep awake to escape my dreams. Now your mother... your mother can disappear. It is a cycle we cannot end.”
