I folded into Takkan’s arms as he held me close. I couldn’t deny that he meant something to me. When I’d been on the stake, mere breaths from dying, I had wished for a moment like this—him holding me, me listening to my heart skip as his pounded steadily against my ear.
But now I untangled myself and gently pushed him away. I could speak, which should have made it easier to lie, but I found I couldn’t. Not to Takkan.
“You should go on to Gindara,” I said, unable to look him in the eye. “I need to catch up with the cranes. And with…Zairena.”
“Zairena?”
“She isn’t who she says she is. She’s a priestess of the Holy Mountains, one who used magic to take on the appearance of Lady Tesuwa’s daughter.”
“Then she’ll be dangerous. All the more reason for me to come with you.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“I’m not leaving you.” His jaw tightened with resolve. “Don’t you remember what I told you? I would not have you be alone.”
It was what he’d said to me at the Winter Festival.I would not have you be alone, Lina, not in your joys or your sorrows. I would wish your strand knotted to mine, always.
“What about the emperor’s war?” A hard lump formed in my throat, and I reached for another sip of water. “You’ve…you’ve been called to fight.”
“I’m bound to you first. I always have been.”
“Bound to me?” I repeated. “All I did was make some crooked stitches over your wound, Takkan. You don’t have to act like you’re indebted to me for life.”
“I am not the sort of man who reneges on my pledges.”
“Then I release you from it.”
“I don’t think you have the authority.” Takkan’s mouth tilted, and his gaze pierced mine. “Not when it’s been in place for eleven years.”
The words were a thunderclap to my ears. “You…you know?”
“Don’t you want to hear my story now?” he said. Only the slightest tremble in his voice betrayed his nerves. “It’s about a princess with six brothers, one who never read her letters from the simple, unworthy boy who only wished to know her.”
“Oh gods,” I whispered, overcome. Emotions clotted in my throat—an unwieldy mix of rapture and embarrassment. I wanted both to hug him and hide from him at once. All I could do was bury my face in my hands. “I…I never called you that, did I?”
“You made your distaste for the North quite well known, Shiori,” said Takkan good-naturedly. He paused meaningfully on my name. “I wasn’t surprised that your disdain extended to me.”
Shiori.I liked how he said my name. As if the syllables were the first notes to a song he loved to sing. A small smile touched my face. “How long have you known?”
“I wasn’t sure until today—when I saw you,” Takkan admitted. “But I thought it. Iwonderedit many a time. First, when I met you in Tianyi Village, the way your shoulders danced and your feet tapped when you were cooking—as if you were listening to a secret song. I remembered seeing Princess Shiori do that at the Summer Festival when she was eating something she loved.
“There were little things, too, like the way you hide food in your sleeves or how a dimple appears in your left cheek when you smile.”
I blinked. “You noticed all that?”
“I wanted to notice more. But you never wrote me back, Shiori,” he said, pretending to chide me. “Or else I might have discovered it was you on that first day in Sparrow Inn.”
My cheeks burned. “I kept your letters. Every single one—they’re buried under the trove of talismans I collected and wished upon that I wouldn’t have to marry you.”
It was true, and I was mortified I had just admitted it. “If only you had told me they were stories…I might have run to meet you. I was worried you’d be boring.”
Takkan chuckled. “Now I hope you don’t fall asleep reading them. There’s still time to run away, after all.”
I didn’t laugh. I reached for his hands, placing my palms atop his, and finally uttered the words I’d wanted to say for months now: “I’m sorry I missed our ceremony.”
“I’m sorry I was angry with you. I regretted it as soon as my father and I left, but I was too proud to come back.” Takkan twined his fingers with mine and squeezed my hands gently. “I don’t want to be released from my pledge, Shiori. But if you do, I would never keep you against your will. I would come with you to ask our fathers to set us free.”
I believed him—I would believe anything Takkan told me.
