My shoulders shook with laughter.Few people can.
“But you liked my stories. That, I learned.” He touched his lantern to mine, so tenderly my stomach swooped. “Perhaps they served as my wooden comb. I would tell you stories from dawn to dusk if it meant filling your eyes with happiness.”
I reached out, hooking my arm under his—I didn’t know what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was the story, the beauty of the lanterns surrounding us, or even the cold numbing my senses, but mortification flooded in a moment too late. I tried to pull back, but Takkan didn’t let go. He drew me closer, and my shoulder melted against his.
I thought he would kiss me. Great gods, Iwantedhim to kiss me.
But then the fireworks started, shooting up into the sky and shimmering among the stars. Against the dusk and the snow, we lowered our lanterns into the river, watching them glide down with a hundred others, a few carried off by the wind up to touch the lake of clouds. It was all so beautiful I dared not blink. I wanted to etch this moment in my memory.
“Will you be here when I return, Lina?”
Takkan’s voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear it.
A lump formed in my throat, warm and raw. I turned away from him, pretending to stare at our lanterns drifting along the water.
What makes you think I’m leaving?
He’d gotten good at reading my lips. “When I first offered to bring you here, you refused. I know that Iro was little more than a place to pass the winter for you, yet I can’t help but hope you’ll stay.”
I stared down.
My silence was telling, and Takkan bent until our heads were level. His voice trembled when he spoke: “I would not have you be alone, Lina, not in your joys or your sorrows. I would wish your strand knotted to mine, always.”
Now I looked up at him, glad he couldn’t see the bewilderment in my eyes.
Had I unwittingly used my magic to spellbind him into such a declaration? He didn’t even know who I was. Who Ireallywas.
Instead of answering, I rested my head on his chest, tucking my crown, bowl and all, under his chin. I could feel his breath catch, yet he didn’t say anything. He wrapped one arm around my waist and held me.
Reason demanded that I leave right then, before the mountain air got to my head—before I cared too much for Takkan. But it was too late for that.
All I wanted was for this night to last forever. To find that our strands had been crossed and knotted all along. Ironic, wasn’t it, that I—a girl who always wanted to make her own choices—now wished for nothing more than to surrender to fate? I chuckled quietly at myself.
By all accounts, I never would have chosen someone like Takkan. He was far too earnest, too good. Someone who always followed the rules, while I took pleasure in breaking them. Someone who preferred to stay at home, while I yearned to sail as far away as I could.
I would have mercilessly played pranks on him,I thought, smiling as I imagined the two of us as children.
None of my brothers would have given their protection to a thief who’d tried to rob them. None would have found the beauty in a simple mountain, and none would have been content to live their entire lives in the North, far from court and battle.
I turned to face him, brushing my fingers against his cheek. When I’d first met him, I’d thought his an ordinary face. Straight nose, brown eyes, a pointed peak in his hairline. Handsome enough. Yet every time I saw him, he grew on me a little more.
Now I saw in his eyes the richness of summer soil. His nose looked endearingly ruddy from being in the cold, and his voice was like a favorite song I never tired of hearing. Funny how he’d stolen his way into my heart, whenI’dbeen the thief the day we met.
I tried to warm his nose with my hand, but Takkan caught my fingers, bringing the tips of my gloves to his lips. He tilted my chin, his breath tickling my nose.
He was going to kiss me.
Finally.
I half closed my eyes in anticipation, my toes curling inside my boots. After months of telling myself Takkan meant nothing, I wanted to stay in his arms until the sun rose. I wanted to hear him say my name, my real name, and tell me again that he wanted me to stay in Iro.
Demons take me, Iwantedto stay.
But I couldn’t. Megari always said I was like a girl in one of his stories. With the bowl on my head, she probably thought me shrouded in mystery and enchantment. She wasn’t wrong, but my magic had only brought misfortune and sorrow to the ones I loved. If I were a character in a tale, I would be no hero. I was the firebrand who had shaken everything from its place. One by one, I needed to fix my mistakes.
I still had many choices left to make. Staying here—no matter how much I wanted to—was the wrong one.
His lips were almost on mine, the tips of our noses touching, when, without warning, I twisted myself out of his embrace. If I stayed any longer, my heart might burst, and all the walls I’d built around it would crumble.
