“Of course you can.”
Norah smiled at her and took her hand, leading her through the entrance of her own tent.
Sex wasn’t something Norah ever used as a crutch. She never sought temporary comfort from someone else’s body when she was feeling down or scared or even lonely. To Norah, sex was sacred. She’d dated two other women in the years since Chase left. The first was an older woman who taught physics at Georgia Tech. Their connection had lasted six months, and Norah had thought they had potential. They spent nights together and even took a weekend trip to her family’s beach house in Charleston. The sex was good enough, not full of the passion and magic she’d always had with Chase, but good enough. Things felt easy. But eventually, this woman called things off, saying “It’s never going to be love.” And Norah wasn’t sad about it. She knew she was right.
The next was another soldier she worked with on base. It had started off innocuous enough, with casual coffees and a comfortable friendship, and one day, she asked Norah if she could take her to dinner. Norah hadn’t even been totally sure it was a date, at least not until the woman kissed Norah at her door like some kind of movie character, politely, but with just enough of a spark to give Norah some hope that maybe she wouldn’tbe tied to Chase’s ghost forever. The first year was wonderful. This woman was kind and attentive and open. She was loyal, and their days were simple and fulfilling. If Norah were being totally honest with herself, she knew the love didn’t go as deep as what she’d had with Chase. But she also knew love wasn’t the same each time, and what she and Chase shared was complicated and fraught with challenges. This new love was the kind that was easy, sustainable.
But then, the switch flipped. The mask fell. Suddenly the woman’s temper flared easily, and she began questioning Norah about her whereabouts, wanting to go through her phone, control who she was talking to and who she spent time with. One day, she felt like Norah had stayed out with one of her friends a little too long and shoved her against the wall in a fit of anger when she got home. That was the end of that. Norah collected the few things she’d left at her place and never looked back.
There had been no one since. And Norah had been fine with that.
Instead, she chose to fill her lonely nights with a good book, cuddled up with Pumpkin, asleep by nine p.m. Chase, though, had probably done things differently. Norah knew what Chase had been like before they met, bed-hopping from woman to woman, making a reputation for herself at school. It actually kept Norah away from Chase for a long time, until she’d gotten to know her enough as a friend to realize that wasn’t who she really was. Chase just wanted to be loved. She desperately craved connection, even more than Norah did. And although Norah had no doubt Chase had been infinitely loyal to her during their years together, she was also sure Chase’s bed had not been empty all this time. She wasn’t angry about this type of situation, or even jealous. She knew in her heart that Chase loved her deeply, in a way she was probably incapable of loving anyone else. But that night, Norah felt the undeniable compulsion to seek comfort in Chase’s arms, just to forget the world around her for a minute.
Chapter Nineteen
No more words were exchanged. Norah continued leading Chase to the cot, stopping just at the edge of the bed and looking at Chase with all the vulnerability and desire that she felt. She placed one hand on Chase’s face, the other arm wrapped gently around her neck. Chase’s eyes looked so sad. Norah was desperate to open up to her, if only for a minute, in a way she hadn’t yet. She’d given Chase her body again, but in no way had she shown her heart. And even though pragmatism told her there was no reality where she could ever trust Chase not to abandon her again, Norah felt like Chase at least deserved to hear the truth just once.
“Tell me again,” Norah said, her breath ragged, staring into Chase’s eyes.
“Tell you what?”
“Tell me what you’ve been telling me. What I wouldn’t let myself tell you back.”
Chase grinned, some of the sadness seeming to dissipate. She circled her arms softly around Norah’s waist, Norah’s thumb still stroking the soft skin of Chase’s cheek.
“I love you.”
Norah smiled. She let herself savor the words, fully succumbing to them for the first time, maybe ever. She ran her thumb over Chase’s bottom lip and followed with her own, kissing her slowly, intentionally, trying to say everything words couldn’t.She finally pulled away, but their gazes stayed connected, Norah finally accepting that no one had ever made her feel the way Chase did, and probably never would again.
“I love you too.”
The words seemed to ignite a fire in Chase, who kissed Norah again, this time with more urgency, grabbing Norah’s ass and lifting her so her legs were twisted around Chase’s hips. Norah gasped. Chase never broke the kiss. Norah grabbed frantically at Chase’s hair, trying to pull her in as close as she could. And when Chase put her down on the bed, she kept her tight against her body, as if afraid to ever let her go again. Norah understood the feeling entirely.
They were flat on the bed now, Chase’s thigh between her legs, expertly grinding against Norah as she took both of Norah’s wrists and pinned them behind her head.
“Wait, stop,” Norah whispered.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Nothing in the world. I want you to take off all my clothes.”
Chase nodded eagerly, her eyes glassy with need. She released Norah’s wrists and sat back enough to help her pull her T-shirt over her head so fast, Norah was shocked they hadn’t ripped it. Norah unclipped her bra with the same fervor, tossing it into the corner of the tent. In another instant she had her own shorts off, and then her panties, until she was fully naked, exposed underneath Chase. Chase took a minute to look Norah up and down in a way that made Norah physically hurt with need, and then Chase removed her own T-shirt, casting it aside, and slid out of her athletic shorts. When she settled back on top of Norah she moaned loudly, the feeling of their skin touching everywhere scrambling the signals to her brain.
“I forgot how good you feel,” Norah said, digging her nails into the skin of Chase’s back.
“I didn’t.”
They’d had sex before since they arrived in Louisiana. But not sex like this. Not skin-to-skin, uninhibited, end-of-the-world sex. Chase just looked at her for a long time, letting her body rest on Norah’s, stroking down her sides and then up to her wild hair Chase would smooth back over the top of her head.
“Please. I need you.” At least in that moment, Norah meant it. She meant it more than she’d ever meant anything.
Chase kissed down her body slowly, stopping at both nipples and taking them one at a time between her teeth, the pressure sending Norah over the edge. Something about all the ways Chase knew her body, still, even after all this time had passed, amazed Norah. She took Chase’s head in both of her hands, gently guiding her lower, until Chase reached where Norah wanted her. She knew Chase liked to take her time, bringing Norah to the brink and then pulling back until she couldn’t take any more. But this time, Chase couldn’t seem to control herself. As soon as she ran her tongue over Norah’s clit, Norah bit down on her own lip so hard she tasted blood. Chase seemed to want all of her, and she wanted it now, and nothing made Norah feel sexier. Norah’s muscles tensed as Chase pressed gently with her palm on Norah’s lower stomach, working her tongue a little faster until Norah erupted around her, convulsing against the stiff cot. She came so hard her vision actually faded a little, and she wondered if she might die right then and there. It wouldn’t be the worst fate ever, to die like that.
Chase’s proud smile when she slid back up the bed to Norah was one that Norah recognized from so many times before. She knew how much Chase loved making her feel like that.
“I hope you know I’m nowhere near done yet,” Chase whispered into Norah’s ear, and the fire that had started to settle between her legs roared back to life.
“Well, then, I guess it’s going to be a long night.”
