When Chase had first showed up in Louisiana, Norah had fought so hard against feeling any kind of joy. Something about allowing herself to feel loved and happy amid such misery felt wrong. But she had stopped fighting it. She wasn’t sure when, but at some point along the way she had given in to the perfect symphony of excitement and safety she felt around Chase and had stopped asking why. She had quit badgering her inner thoughts about what she and Chase should be and what they had been. She had also quit denying the way Chase still made her feel. Norah was just going with it. And as they drove along the dirt road making the hour trek to the hospital, she was more grateful than ever that she was.
Chapter Seventeen
It had taken Chase far longer than Norah thought it would to ask about the plan, and Norah was pleased with the implication that Chase trusted her.
“How did you get us into the ICU anyway?”
It was a long shot for Norah to call Jeff Timmons and ask for special permission to visit Jamie in the ICU, but she took her chances. Although she was immune to the longing glances of men, Norah was not above using her looks to get something she needed. And she had taken inventory of the way Timmons’s eyes had lingered a little too long when they’d left that day. As Norah had feared, Timmons had sweetly asked her to dinner. Fortunately, she had the excuse of trying to save everyone from a pandemic (and the fact almost all restaurants were closed to anything but takeout in the greater New Orleans area) and was able to loosely promise him a raincheck.
“Unbelievable,” Chase exclaimed with a smile. “You’re still using that pretty-privilege after all these years.”
“I have to while I still can. It definitely doesn’t have the same effect as it did ten years ago.”
The closer they got to New Orleans the more anxious Norah was becoming. She had been happy for the distraction of small talk with Chase, but now it was getting harder to ignore the chance they were about to take.
“Well, that’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“No, it’s not. I’m getting old.” It was true, too. Norah knew logically her worth was tied up in so much more than just great bone structure and beautiful hair. But that little voice that had probably come from her mother said that she wasn’t quite as valuable once her looks faded.
Chase scoffed dramatically, taking her eyes off the road just long enough to look at Norah and shake her head.
“First of all, you aren’t getting old. Second, you look better now than you did in med school.”
Norah rolled her eyes but noted her cheeks flushing like a shy teenager’s. It was crazy to her that, in their forties, Chase still had this effect on her.
“Yeah, sure.” She was still terrible at taking a compliment.
They drove the next twenty minutes in silence, Chase making sure to keep hold of Norah’s hand the entire way, her other one gently guiding the steering wheel in a way that reminded Norah of the captain of a ship. There it was again—the serenity Chase brought. Chase had always been a source of strength for Norah in their younger days. But this was different. There was a maturity about her that added a layer of safety to that strength. Norah seemed to know deep within her soul that Chase wouldn’t leave this time. That could have just been wishful thinking though. It was certainly not worth finding out.
“We’re here.” Chase’s shoulders rose to her ears with a single deep breath, and she squeezed Norah’s hand three times. Norah had almost forgotten she used to do that—a quick gesture that said “I love you” when words just didn’t feel good enough.
“Last chance to bow out,” Norah said. She knew Chase wouldn’t, but she had to give her the opportunity one more time.
“Never.”
The ICU corridor was darker than Chase remembered. And it was quiet. So quiet that she could hear her heart pounding in her ears as they walked. A couple of nurses sat several feet apartat their computers, having shed their yellow paper gowns but still wearing their N95 masks. Even with the masks on Chase could see how exhausted they were. Had any of them been able to sleep at night, or were their nights plagued with the sounds of alarm monitors and “code blues” coming from overhead speakers? It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. And if Chase had any doubts about what they were doing there that day, she quickly cast them aside when she realized they could at least try to save one of their own.
Norah looked nervous. Her state of mind was subtle, but also not imperceptible to Chase. It was also not something Chase saw very often, which only intensified her own anxiety.
Timmons had given them temporary badges. They planned to act like they were meant to be there.Don’t draw any attention to yourself. Don’t talk to anyone. They arrived outside of Room 5. Through the closed glass doors, she could make out Jamie, almost lifeless in the bed, heavily sedated with the breathing tube winding out of her mouth. It was so quiet on the unit Chase could hear the hiss of the ventilator through the walls. Jamie’s chest rose and fell in a perfect, almost alien way. At least she looked comfortable.
“I’m glad she’s intubated.” It was a strange comment for Norah to make, but Chase knew what she meant. Even though they’d suspected as much, they hadn’t been updated on Jamie’s condition yet. If she was okay enough to be breathing on her own, it wasn’t worth trying the drug. And although the best outcome would have been for a miraculous turnaround like Stevens had, Chase knew that was a fantasy, and both she and Norah looked at each other with the knowledge that they had made the right decision.
Without another word, Norah pulled two gowns out from the plastic cart in front of the door, holding the first one open for Chase to step into and then tying the back closed. She handed the second one to Chase, who did the same. They covered their headswith caps and their shoes with paper booties. And when nothing was showing but their eyes, Norah slowly slid open the door and walked in.
“Jamie? It’s Norah. And Chase.”
They waited for a few seconds, Jamie’s glassy eyes showing no signs of recognition. Timmons had given them access to Jamie’s medical records, which was probably some sort of HIPAA violation, but at this point neither of them cared. Jamie was sedated, but not so much that she might not be able to hear them.
“Jamie. Hey. I’m here with Chase. We’re in love again and going to get married,” Norah said teasingly, with a chuckle.
“What are you doing?” Chase whispered.
“Trust me. If she’s at all awake, she’ll respond to that comment.”
Chase shook her head incredulously, but sure enough, Jamie blinked just twice, and Chase was sure she saw the corners of her mouth turn up a little.
“Did you see that?”
