Leland stayed awake long after she drifted off to sleep. He listened to the soft sounds she made. Felt the warmth of her curled against him. Every so often, his hand glided over her, a small reassurance he couldn’t seem to stop seeking. After tonight, he wasn’t sure if the need would ever stop.
The fight inside him was gone now. No more distance or excuses. No more pretending he could walk away before this became real.
That had happened somewhere along the way. Maybe the night she shut her apartment door in his face, and he’d stood there wanting to break it down. Maybe when she soaked him with soapsuds in his kitchen and giggled, unaware she was dismantling him piece by piece. Or tonight in the shower, when she’d looked at him like he was the only thing holding her together. Or maybe long before any of that, the first time she put her hand in his with trust in her eyes.
All he knew was that losing her would destroy him. And despite every instinct telling him to run from the truth—she was worth the risk.
As the first hint of morning touched the edges of the room, Leland stopped fighting what he felt. And for the first time in years, he let himself see a future instead of just survival.
Chapter 31
Julia woke with Leland’s arm around her waist and his body warm against her back. For a moment, she simply lay there, listening to him breathe. Something made her glance over her shoulder.
He was awake. Watching her. Not restless or guarded, just present and thoughtful.
She wriggled around to face him, their legs tangling together under the sheet. His eyes looked tired, dark shadows smudges beneath them.
“You didn’t sleep.”
He didn’t deny it. “It gave me time to think.”
“That sounds ominous.” Enough to worry her.
The corner of his mouth twitched faintly, not quite a smile. “I need to tell you why I am the way I am.”
Julia didn’t push. She only moved closer, giving him space to speak.
He told her what Cari had, but in greater, more devastating detail. About his parents, the fire, losing everything in one night, and the grief that shaped everything after. Growing up with his grandparents, loved but never financially secure. Joining the military, so he could go to college and never feel that kind of helplessness again. When he spoke about his unit and the men he’d trusted with his life, his voice grew gruff because most of those good, brave men hadn’t come home.
He fell silent. She held him, letting him have that moment. When he finally cleared his throat, she knew he’d gone somewhere deep to pull the next words out.
“I told you about Erin.” His gaze drifted past her. “After all of that, I started believing people I cared about paid for it.”
Julia had pieced that together and ached for all he’d lost, but hearing it from him—stripped bare—hit differently. So much harder.
She laced her fingers more tightly through his. “You’ve had more loss than anyone should,” she said softly. “More than me. I lost my mother before I ever knew her, and my gran was taken when I was just seventeen.”
He looked at her. “What happened to your father?”
“I never knew him. He didn’t stick around.”
“Did you ever try looking for him?”
“Never. He didn’t want to know me, and the feeling was mutual.”
“Smart,” Leland grunted. “He sounds like an asshole.”
Julia hid a smile against his chest. Typical Leland.
“My point is,” she said gently, “death touches all of us. It’s part of loving people. We don’t get to keep anyone forever.”
Her thumb brushed over his knuckles.
“But imagine what you would’ve missed if you’d never had them. Your parents. The men in your unit. Erin.” Her voice softened. “Me.”
“I can’t think about losing you. Last night was too damn close.”
His expression changed. Not shutting her out, like in the past, but opening.
