Logan had headed to Warrior Security this afternoon. He’d decided to go back part time. Hunter needed another operator, and Logan had the skills and the training and the trust of the whole team.
Tonight was a session to get him back up to speed on protocols and comms. I’d watched him leave and felt something settle in my chest at the sight of it. He was good at this work, and it was good to see him step back into it on his own terms, not because he was running from anything but because he’d found a reason to stay.
And I had time to focus on more grants. Figure out why the last two had looked so promising but then collapsed at the last minute. I had time to figure out how to make sure Pawsitive was never in that financial position again. If that meant birthday parties every other weekend, Logan and I were willing to do it.
My phone buzzed on the counter.
I wiped my hands on the dish towel and picked it up. Unknown number, but an Upstate New York area code. My thumb hovered over the screen.
I almost put the phone back down, but I wasn’t going to be a coward. I pressed the connect button.
“Eleanor.”
Damn it. I shouldn’t have answered. “Carter. I told you to lose this number.”
“I know. I was hoping you’d pick up, though.” The warmth in his voice was practiced, each word set in place with care. “I owe you an apology for last time. I’ve been thinking about it, and I was out of line.”
I wasn’t fooled a bit. “What do you want?”
“I miss you, Eleanor. I sit in this house every night, and I think about what I lost. I’m not the same man I was.”
I turned the burner down and leaned against the counter. He was performing. I’d heard this voice a thousand times across a dinner table, in a car, through a bathroom door I’d locked because it was the only room in his house where he couldn’t follow.
The wounded ex-husband who had done the hard work of self-reflection. The voice that saidI’m being reasonable, Eleanor, and you’re the one making this difficult.
I was so fucking done with him.
“Carter, I need you to hear something.”
“Yes. Tell me. I’m listening. I want to listen more. I’m trying to be better.”
I rolled my eyes. I just wanted this to be over as soon as possible.
“I’m in love with someone else, Carter. It’s real, and I don’t want any further contact with you. Don’t call me again.”
The silence that followed was the kind that happened when a script failed and the actor hadn’t rehearsed what came after. I could feel him scanning for the right angle, the right lever.
“All right,” he said.
Carter Hollis did not sayall right. Carter Hollis circled back, reframed, found a different door when the first one closed. He did not concede.
“I won’t call you again, Eleanor. I promise.”
I didn’t know what was going on, but I would take it. “Good.”
I ended the call before he could start whatever arguments he was surely prepping. I knew this wasn’t the last time I’d hear from him, but next time, I wasn’t going to answer. Or I’d block the number. Or maybe I’d hand the phone to Clarence and let him talk for me.
I smiled at that. Smiled at all of it. My hands weren’t shaking. My chest wasn’t tight. I was standing in my own kitchen with dinner on the stove and I had just told Carter Hollis I was in love with someone else, and the world hadn’t cracked open.
The property was quiet in the darkening skies through the kitchen window. I had just saidI’m in love with someone elseout loud, and it had been true. The simplicity of it surprised me. No qualifying, no second-guessing, no careful explanation of what I meant and why.
I was in love with Logan Stroud.
There was a second mug on the counter and a jacket on the hook by the door and a man who would walk through that door later tonight, and I wanted him to. I wanted him to tomorrow and the day after that and every day I could see from here.
I picked up my phone and opened a text. He wouldn’t see it right away, but I wanted him to have it when he was done with the training.
I don’t say enough how much it means to me that you’re in my life. And I’m glad you’re at Warrior Security, refusing to let your demons get the better of you. Come home safe to me.
