“Be serious.”
“Mila, if there’s anything I’m ever serious about, it’s you. Now, tell me what’s going through that head of yours.”
Yeah, that’s probably not going to happen. If I admit that I have even the smallest amount of feelings for him, he’s going to be even worse than he is now. I can’t live with him and start a relationship. That’s so out of order.
“I don’t know where to start, Kash,” I tell him honestly. I don’t want him to know how much he’s affecting me already.
“Well, how about I start then?” he offers. Moving his hand to my face, he turns my gaze to meet his. “Mila, I’m never going to want anyone else the way I want you. I know my history is ugly, and I wish it didn’t exist, but it does. I hate that you can’t trust me because of the person that I used to think I needed to be.”
“You can’t change who you are, Kash.”
“I already have.”
“How? You’re still you from what I can see,” I point out. Itprobably makes me sound like a bitch, but I don’t see how he’s changed. He’s still his regular happy-go-lucky self.
“I haven’t looked at another girl since I met you eighty-five days ago, and I’m not the least bit bothered by it.”
“What? Kash, we haven't known each other that long.”
“Yes, we have. Girls’ night was exactly eighty-five days ago. I’ve been counting the days since I met my future wife. It’s important to know.”
I have no idea what to say to that.
“You hit on Cora like three months ago, and your ex just smashed your car and shop to shit, Kash.”
“I didn’t exactly hit on Cora. Just egged Atlas on. I knew from the start he had eyes for her; I just wanted him to make a move and not be mopey.” He laughs. “As for the other part, don’t hold Bri against me, Mila, please.” His dark eyes stare into mine. “We were over before it even began.”
“Like us?”
“No. Never. There is nothing you could ever do that would make me bored or not want you.”
“You say that now...” I trail off, pulling away from his gaze.
“I’ll say it always. Forever.” Pulling my attention back to him, he continues, “All I need is one chance and you’ll never doubt me, Mila. You’ll never have a reason to.”
He looks and sounds so sincere; I wonder if it would be that bad of an idea. Kash makes me feel things, but his attention is so big. I’m not sure I’m ready to accept that yet.
“If I’m going to continue staying here, I think we need to be honest with each other. Starting with an apology from me. I’ve done something I shouldn’t have.”
I feel horrible about it, so I hope he forgives me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kash
If she tells me she was with someone else, I’ll kill them. My bare hands will pull their body into pieces, and I’ll use them as fertilizer for the garden I’m going to plant for her. I know she’s been at her place, but so help me fucking God, if someone touched her, I will scorch their existence.
“I took advantage of you,” she blurts out.
My brain short circuits for a moment, and then I catch on to what she said. I don’t have to murder or maim anyone after all. I actually want to laugh, but judging by the expression on her face, I probably shouldn’t.
“What do you mean,you ‘took advantage’ of me?” She can’t be serious, right? It’s not possible to take advantage of the more than willing.
“Saturday night. We were just watching a movie, and then I asked you to kiss me, and you did, and it was amazing.” She stands from the bed and starts pacing. “But it wasn’t right, Kash. I used you to get off and then ran off and hid from you. I left you hanging, and that’s not cool either.” She wrings her hands as she walks back and forth the length of my bedroom, and the only thing I’m focused on is the way her chest bounces with her jerky movements and that she wanted to touch me in return.
Shaking my head, I reach out and grab Mila, pulling her back into my lap on the edge of my bed. I flip our positions and move her under me. She squeals but allows me to press my body into hers. She’s where she belongs.
“Kash, I?—”
